Have you heard of the Exploding Head Syndrome (EHS)? It is rampant in modern society.
Older people are particularly susceptible. You may have had EHS and not even known it, because the symptoms are confusing and insidious.
Me? I’ve been infected many times. It hurts. Feels like you’re going nuts.
And, of course, because your head pulsates and throbs, it feels like it’s going to explode. EHS is similar to PABVIYF disease (popping a blood vessel in your forehead).
How do you get it? The answer to that is easy. Is there a cure? The answer to that is no because EHS is complicated by many variables.
The symptoms start slowly, typically on a day that seems normal. You’ve gone online to take care of business. While you haven’t explored a new app that you must now use to get paid for services you’ve performed, you’ve been assured it’s simple, quick, easy to download and apply. Yup, sure thing. Is your forehead sizzling an egg yet? Mine was.
First step was to access the system. This, for some odd reason, didn’t happen. I’d used this site many times before, but “access denied” came up the first two times I clicked it on. Through my massive powers of deductive reasoning, I figured out you had to go to the bottom of the page to click on “About” and then go to the top of the page to hit “My Account.” Okay, only a slight pounding in the forehead so far. Irritation.
To step back for one second, you have to know that I thought I’d already set up the payment system, which is designed to electronically transfer a check to this site, where you then transfer their payment to your bank. I’d successfully – so I thought – set this up a couple of months back. Getting on to transfer the funds, I found out I hadn’t so successfully inputted my bank information so I could complete the electronic transfer. My brain started to feel fuzzy.
From there, the onslaught of EHS symptoms grew exponentially. Where do I input my bank information? No matter what or where I clicked, nothing came up that allowed that data upload. Try this, try that. No way.
I click on the video, which demonstrates how to put in the bank info. The person talks so fast that I can’t process the information and go back and forth from the video to the site to make the changes. You can’t pause the video, so I start to become a crazy man.
I look for other directions, tapping the keyboard, sending it to confusing drop-down menus into the dark mineshaft. Nothing there.
Twice I send emails asking for help, once to the direct address they list, and a second time in response to the video when it asks “was this helpful” and I wrote, “hell f….cking no.” Of course there is no quick response to either of these emails.
I attempt to calm down. That’s no help. I yell up to my wife, “I’m very angry. I’m raising my voice and it has nothing to do with you, please understand. I’m raging.” My blood pressure continues ascending.
Breathe deeply. Focus. Think about where you haven’t gone yet on the site. There must be a way.
After almost an hour (that may not sound like much, but with EHS it feels like 3-4 hours), TADA!, there it is. I could not replicate how I got there, but I got there. Put in the banking information. Downloaded in seconds. Yahoo. Transferred the funds to my banking account. So dang easy.
It really was. You just needed to know how to get there. It is simple to use. It’s just not a simple process to get there. That’s the indication you could face EHS. Then you flush the return email from the website three days later asking if you still need help resolving your problem. Thanks for that excellent customer service.
Older people are particularly susceptible. You may have had EHS and not even known it, because the symptoms are confusing and insidious.
Me? I’ve been infected many times. It hurts. Feels like you’re going nuts.
And, of course, because your head pulsates and throbs, it feels like it’s going to explode. EHS is similar to PABVIYF disease (popping a blood vessel in your forehead).
How do you get it? The answer to that is easy. Is there a cure? The answer to that is no because EHS is complicated by many variables.
The symptoms start slowly, typically on a day that seems normal. You’ve gone online to take care of business. While you haven’t explored a new app that you must now use to get paid for services you’ve performed, you’ve been assured it’s simple, quick, easy to download and apply. Yup, sure thing. Is your forehead sizzling an egg yet? Mine was.
First step was to access the system. This, for some odd reason, didn’t happen. I’d used this site many times before, but “access denied” came up the first two times I clicked it on. Through my massive powers of deductive reasoning, I figured out you had to go to the bottom of the page to click on “About” and then go to the top of the page to hit “My Account.” Okay, only a slight pounding in the forehead so far. Irritation.
To step back for one second, you have to know that I thought I’d already set up the payment system, which is designed to electronically transfer a check to this site, where you then transfer their payment to your bank. I’d successfully – so I thought – set this up a couple of months back. Getting on to transfer the funds, I found out I hadn’t so successfully inputted my bank information so I could complete the electronic transfer. My brain started to feel fuzzy.
From there, the onslaught of EHS symptoms grew exponentially. Where do I input my bank information? No matter what or where I clicked, nothing came up that allowed that data upload. Try this, try that. No way.
I click on the video, which demonstrates how to put in the bank info. The person talks so fast that I can’t process the information and go back and forth from the video to the site to make the changes. You can’t pause the video, so I start to become a crazy man.
I look for other directions, tapping the keyboard, sending it to confusing drop-down menus into the dark mineshaft. Nothing there.
Twice I send emails asking for help, once to the direct address they list, and a second time in response to the video when it asks “was this helpful” and I wrote, “hell f….cking no.” Of course there is no quick response to either of these emails.
I attempt to calm down. That’s no help. I yell up to my wife, “I’m very angry. I’m raising my voice and it has nothing to do with you, please understand. I’m raging.” My blood pressure continues ascending.
Breathe deeply. Focus. Think about where you haven’t gone yet on the site. There must be a way.
After almost an hour (that may not sound like much, but with EHS it feels like 3-4 hours), TADA!, there it is. I could not replicate how I got there, but I got there. Put in the banking information. Downloaded in seconds. Yahoo. Transferred the funds to my banking account. So dang easy.
It really was. You just needed to know how to get there. It is simple to use. It’s just not a simple process to get there. That’s the indication you could face EHS. Then you flush the return email from the website three days later asking if you still need help resolving your problem. Thanks for that excellent customer service.
