I posed this question to a friend today: Who are the three people who bore you the most? It came up because we’d been talking about who we choose to associate it. We avoid angry people. We stay away from people who cause us problems. We minimize contact with someone who bores us.
At the same time, if you go through the litany of people you know in your life, there are those you WANT to hang out with. Those are the people who charge you up. They make you feel good. You want to listen to what they have to say about the world.
Back to boring. What makes someone boring? Why does our mind wander when this type of person begins to speak? Why is it difficult to pay attention to him or her?
I have to say that the primary factor to me is someone who drones on and on. Speaking endlessly without asking you questions is the recipe for a boring time. The person who monologues you demonstrates he doesn’t care what you think and presumes (or maybe he doesn’t presume, but is instead unaware of his actions) he knows more than you. Or he doesn’t care what you think.
Anyway, he’s blah, blah, blahing you to death. You’re wondering where you can get a good bologna and cheese sandwich on white bread for lunch while he’s talking, talking, talking about the advancements in nut and bolt wrenches that when properly applied can the speed of the project spin in counter-clockwise motion in just such a way that you have no idea what he’s talking about because your mind is elsewhere.
You yawn. This doesn’t send the message you want.
He continues. Now he’s into the vagaries of how he cut his hand and the proper way to dress a cut. He explains all the details so thoroughly, you’d think he was an emergency room surgeon, but NO, he’s just another guy wanting to go on and on with nothing to say.
That’s probably the second thing that allows someone to achieve lifetime membership in the boring person club: Having nothing to say. Hey, dude, if you have nothing to say, ask a question instead. See what the other person has to say. Maybe it will be more interesting. But you’re too tied up in yourself to even recognize everyone in your presence is looking around the table wondering how to get you to shut up.
There is also the person who over-details you to death. Every story has to get into minute details, ones that don’t mean anything to the point of the story, and in fact, often detract from that. The boring person doesn’t know how to leave these out.
Instead, he goes on and on, expecting you to hinge on the exact detailed description of how he filled the lawn mower gas tank yesterday. “Okay, buddy, sure thing, that’s amazing. Tell me more about how you turned the cap and filled it up.”
We all bore others at times. Mostly that probably happens with the people we know best because they understand our patterns and have heard our stories more than the people we’ve just met. Those people get more leeway for that reason.
But if you’re at a cocktail party or just getting to know someone, will you please put on your listening cap, ask a few questions, listen, show some enthusiasm? You may find you make a friend.
At the same time, if you go through the litany of people you know in your life, there are those you WANT to hang out with. Those are the people who charge you up. They make you feel good. You want to listen to what they have to say about the world.
Back to boring. What makes someone boring? Why does our mind wander when this type of person begins to speak? Why is it difficult to pay attention to him or her?
I have to say that the primary factor to me is someone who drones on and on. Speaking endlessly without asking you questions is the recipe for a boring time. The person who monologues you demonstrates he doesn’t care what you think and presumes (or maybe he doesn’t presume, but is instead unaware of his actions) he knows more than you. Or he doesn’t care what you think.
Anyway, he’s blah, blah, blahing you to death. You’re wondering where you can get a good bologna and cheese sandwich on white bread for lunch while he’s talking, talking, talking about the advancements in nut and bolt wrenches that when properly applied can the speed of the project spin in counter-clockwise motion in just such a way that you have no idea what he’s talking about because your mind is elsewhere.
You yawn. This doesn’t send the message you want.
He continues. Now he’s into the vagaries of how he cut his hand and the proper way to dress a cut. He explains all the details so thoroughly, you’d think he was an emergency room surgeon, but NO, he’s just another guy wanting to go on and on with nothing to say.
That’s probably the second thing that allows someone to achieve lifetime membership in the boring person club: Having nothing to say. Hey, dude, if you have nothing to say, ask a question instead. See what the other person has to say. Maybe it will be more interesting. But you’re too tied up in yourself to even recognize everyone in your presence is looking around the table wondering how to get you to shut up.
There is also the person who over-details you to death. Every story has to get into minute details, ones that don’t mean anything to the point of the story, and in fact, often detract from that. The boring person doesn’t know how to leave these out.
Instead, he goes on and on, expecting you to hinge on the exact detailed description of how he filled the lawn mower gas tank yesterday. “Okay, buddy, sure thing, that’s amazing. Tell me more about how you turned the cap and filled it up.”
We all bore others at times. Mostly that probably happens with the people we know best because they understand our patterns and have heard our stories more than the people we’ve just met. Those people get more leeway for that reason.
But if you’re at a cocktail party or just getting to know someone, will you please put on your listening cap, ask a few questions, listen, show some enthusiasm? You may find you make a friend.
