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Memory

9/16/2018

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​Memory is a strange beast. We all remember things differently. We forget things we thought we knew. Sometimes a name comes back to us at a strange time of day when hours earlier we were working hard to bring it back but couldn’t get it to the tip of our tongue despite the mental attention we gave it.
 
All of us struggle with this stuff at different times of life depending on our age, how strongly we focus on something and just our general ability to remember something that happened to us. There are many people who don’t pay any attention to what is going on around them, and they couldn’t tell you if it was Hurricane Florence or Hurricane Harvey that hit Wilmington, N.C. Their minds are elsewhere.

For those of us well-intentioned and desirous of remembering important details and events in our lives, you’d think there’d be some tried and true ways to file things away for retrieval on demand by our brains. There are.

I’ve learned a few things over the years, and here’s one of them to help – name association. Next time you meet someone and want to remember their name, use this tactic.
 
I mentioned it to an elder gentleman who works out at the fitness center the same two days I go there. We shoot the breeze frequently, I crack a joke about his silly hats, and he comes back with a retort about my tee shirt. He’s a fun guy to be around and a role model to stay engaged and healthy as you age.

But I don’t know his damn name. I’ve been seeing him for almost two years and we’ve never gotten around to that. It reached the awkward point where it was hard to even ask. So, not being the bashful type, I went right up to him and asked anyway, “Hey, what the heck is your name?”
 
“Ron. And yours?”
 
“Dave.”
 
“Oh, I won’t remember that.”
 
“Sure you can. Here’s how. Think of another Dave you know. Next time you see me, think of that Dave and some other characteristic that stands out. I’ll remember you as Ron Juan, a nickname I have for another Ron I know because of how he romanced women.”
 
“That sounds like a good idea,” he replied, and we talked some more, harassed each other, and went on to the next machine to pound weights. Two days later, we saw each other.
 
“Hey, Ron, how’s it going?


“Not bad, Dave the lawn mower man, good to see you.”
 
“Lawn mower man?”
 
“That’s how I remember you.”
 
I have no idea how I became the lawn mower man because I don’t remember talking about cutting grass, but who the heck cares. He calls me Dave now every time we see each other. We’ve made a connection and a friendship has developed.
 
Sometimes you file away a name and remember it. Names, like paperwork, are sometimes easily categorized and come to you with no problem. But if you forget a name or where you placed a file, report or newsletter, give it that additional mental attention to direct you back on the path you took.
 
It will help in your friendships and your work environment. As long as you can figure out how you became the lawn mower man.

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