1. F***ing once a week
is good for your health, every day is even better.
 
2.
F***ing gives proper relaxation for your mind &
body
 
3. F***ing refreshes you
 
4. After F***ing don't eat too much; go for more
liquids.
 
5. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol
level.
 
SO, REMEMBER ...
 
6. FISHING is good for your health and soul,
And may the
Good Lord cleanse your FILTHY Mind!

There  was a Scottish painter named Smokey MacGregor who was very interested in
making  a penny where he could,so he often thinned down his paint to make
it go a  wee bit further.

As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the local      
church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their      
biggest buildings.

Smokey put in a bid, and, because his price was      
so low, he got the job. 

So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting
up the planks, and buying  the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning
it down with turpentine......... 

Well, Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting
away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap
of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned
paint from all over the church and knocking Smokey clear off the scaffold
to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles
of the thinned and useless  paint.

Smokey was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down  
on his knees and cried: 

"Oh, God, Oh God, forgive me; what should I
do?" 

And from the thunder, a mighty voice 
said:

"Repaint!  Repaint!
 
And thin no more!"