
He’s been at it for at least the past seven years based on my active memory. He lost his wife five years or so ago. I’d guess he’s currently in his early 80s.
I’ll call him “R” for short. He makes me laugh.
This is no small task. You have to be funny to make me laugh. You must be original. Creativity is critical.
The ability to make anyone laugh is unique. And, it is also very difficult because humor is an odd part of our human behavior. What makes one person crack up can put a picture of puzzlement on the face of the other 99 percent of humanity.
Back to R. He has a wry sense of humor. Very deadpan. You ask him a question, and with no hesitation he replies. And the response is often funny. Here’s an example:
A year or so ago, someone mentioned it was his birthday. He could have been 80 or 81 at the time, somewhere in there. It made me inquire how he felt.
Me: “How does it feel to be 80?
R: “I don’t know. I’ve never been 80 before.” He said this without hesitating in the slightest.
I laughed so hard that R actually smiled in return (not so sure you get raucous laughter out of 80-year-old humans; a smile is a big deal; but I could be wrong about that). His spontaneity surprised and humored me, and got me thinking.
This is what I thought: Do we ever really know what we should feel like at a certain age? Where do we get information about how we should feel at a certain age? Is it accurate? Is it based on study or observation? Etc. Lots of questions.
The point being: We don’t really know how we should feel. We only feel how we feel. Bad day, good day. Stiff or sore. Not stiff or sore. Lots of energy or lagging a bit. Ready to run a marathon or ready to run back to bed.
“Feeling your age” is a strange statement if you think about it. It’s why R’s response to my question was so damn funny. You can’t know how you are “supposed” to feel at a certain age because you’ve never been that age before.
R’s response also got me thinking about how we live, the choices we make and how we perceive our days and activities. We can choose to reach out to every day as something new and fresh. Experience each day in all its splendor, remaining open to opportunities.
Or, we can cocoon ourselves, blanket our souls in ways that prevent growth or joy. Live limited rather than living expansively.
I hear people say on birthdays (when they’re 50 or 60 or 70) something to the effect of, “I feel the exact same way I did at 40.” I don’t really understand that response because I don’t know how you can feel the same. I certainly don’t.
You feel different. You’ve learned new things. You’ve developed. Your brain has absorbed more. Your body has dealt with lots of things, and changed. There is good development and there are ways in which you decline.
The next time someone asks me how I feel for my age, I’m going with R’s response, “I don’t know. I’ve never been this old before.”