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Sarcasm 101

6/25/2017

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​Riding with a coworker to a job site recently, we got off on a tangent about traits needed to survive in the world today. Part of the discussion related to where we worked, where a thick skin is quite relevant to getting by. But, in general, he suggested there are a number of skills that many people miss – whether that be in school or how they were raised or just plain picking up abilities as they go through life.
 
Once our parents are done with us and we leave school behind (at whatever level), we’re not done learning. That’s probably one of the biggest fallacies of life. Whether you want to or not, you continue experiencing new things, which means we all have the opportunity to grow.
 
Ongoing life lessons can be humorous, serious, logical or take intuitive leaps. We might absorb new information or pick up a trait fairly quickly or over a number of years. Whatever the lesson may be, somehow it ensures better survival of the species. Here are a few that probably make sense if we’re all not going to go crazy:
 
Sarcasm 101: In some ways, you could describe this course load as: “Don’t lose your sense of humor.” But it is way more. This class implies developing a razor wit, being able to diagnose and slice the issues of the day quickly and with sharp wording that makes others laugh and deflects some of the stupidity we face on a daily basis. To become truly expert, Sarcasm 101 requires not only study, but practice. Hands-on sessions with comedians and smart-asses would be required. Major Benefit: Graduates gain a thicker skin.
 
Changing Your Tires 201: The ability to change a tire is no longer a given in today’s world, as many people with just call on their smart phone for help if they get a flat. No matter the car, the basics remain. Get out the jack, find the correct spot to insert it, and crank it until the tire is off the pavement. Twist the bolts off with the wrench. Take the tire off, put the new one on. Tighten bolts. Lower car to ground. Okay, end of class. Now go find the owner’s book in your car so you can find out where all those tools have been hidden. Major Benefit: Not having to pay for a tow job.
 
Reading Directions 301: This class may sound self-evident. But, just about everybody at some point is guilty of winging it and failing, then going back to look at that little booklet and saying, “Hmmm, should have read this first.” If you know how to cook, install a router, or fix a lawnmower, by all means, go for it. If not, take this class. You will be reminded over and over: READ THE INSTRUCTIONS! If you don’t get the message, it will be repeated at the start and finish of every class. Major Benefit: Improved reading skills, greater confidence in finishing tasks, and a new-found confidence that you can get things done that were previously presumed complicated (sometimes anyway).
 
How to Effectively Return Phone Calls (Advanced Class) 401: Since almost nobody in the world seems to know how to return phone calls any more, this difficult and intense course of study would teach the student how to pick up the smart phone and dial the number that came in, with explicit instructions on the exact ten digits to punch in. As a bonus, the class would remind you to do this in timely manner. Major Benefit: Resolving problems quickly rather than texting or emailing 27 times with no resolution.
 
There you have it. Time to study. Success is just down the road.
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What Could be Easier than Changing a Hose?

6/19/2017

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Cooking Love

6/11/2017

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Everybody Come Together

6/4/2017

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​A couple of weeks back, “Everybody Come Together” by The Youngbloods was playing at the fitness center while I worked out in the morning. I hummed along and watched other people riding the stationary bike, climbing the stair master and stretching out. It was 5:15 a.m. People smiled. Several walked over and chatted with their buddies. You heard laughter.
 
I won’t say all of this was unusual. In general, our workout facility is pretty together with people making friendships, telling stories, helping on the weights. There’s lots of conversation and smiles mixed in with the grunting, sweating, groaning and scowls of intensity.
 
This isn’t to say the song that morning created additional happiness, though I believe it did because I know it affected my mood as I sang along and thought about my day and the best way to approach it in a positive manner – by bringing people together. What it made me consider more is whether we could change our approach to the day by listening to specific mood music.

This is not an un-researched area. Waiting areas at medical centers use this approach by putting on calming music. You’ll find dentists, chiropractors, massage therapists and acupuncturists all use similar approaches – putting on lighter music to relax their patients and get them in a better frame of mind.

And, we all listen to specific music for different reasons. We might want to get away from a bad day and listen to loud bashing acoustics. We might want to get motivated to work harder and put on some hard driving rock and roll. We may find ourselves reminiscing of something sweet and we put on romantic tracks. We reinforce the mood we want, or use music to get away from something we wish to forget.
 
Which circles us back to the issue of bringing people together and creating a more positive atmosphere – something it seems to me almost every individual, company or organization would appreciate. Who can be against better productivity, teammates helping each other, relaxing and listening to others when we have differences? If we played more songs like “Everybody Come Together,” maybe we’ll get a bit closer to that objective.
 
Fitness centers have this figured out. So have many retail stores. Why haven’t more big businesses? Do you ever hear “I Just Want To Celebrate” by Rare Earth when you walk into a corporate environment?  How about “Come Together” by The Beatles? I highly doubt it.

You might get mind-numbing elevator music or some standard tracks that pass the corporate filter, but that’s the best it’s going to get. It must be too risky to rock out. Maybe leadership thinks it will interfere with work rather than enhance it. Or they feel employees will get distracted and start dancing or something weird like that.
 
It seems to me dancing and singing at work would unite and unify your business culture. Think how you feel after you’ve been singing or dancing.  There’s a joyous release. You’re ignited and invigorated. It feels good. Energy surges through your body.
 
Compare those feelings with anger and agitation brought on by watching too much television news. You’re stressed, burned out. You want to argue with other people. Productivity decreases.
 
It seems like a dang simple formula to implement. It won’t guarantee results. But it sure makes sense, and it can’t hurt, can it? Share this column with your boss. Forward this along. Maybe if enough higher-ups read it, they’ll consider a change. We might start coming together. WHOA, can’t have that happen, can we?
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