​No, don’t stop reading books, as that headline implied. Stop reading bad books. Stop reading garbage.
 
That’s my two cents rant for the day. Based on massive experience.
 
Over the past 2-3 years, I’ve increased my book reading -- from probably three books or so a month (could be an exaggeration) to two or three books a week (which also isn’t entirely accurate, but presumes a prodigious output on a good week).

That intense reading is spurred by quality and having more time to read. If something engages you, you want to pick it up. You turn the pages quickly. You absorb the plot. You WANT to get to the next chapter or see how some character resolves a problem. Good writing brings that to you.

Conversely, bad writing is boring, mundane or just plain predictable. I’ve mentioned to my wife as my reading input has increased that my willingness to stop reading something I’m not interested in has also increased. I’ll put down a bad book. I’ll read 50 or 70 pages, sometimes even more, and say to myself, “What am I doing? This is terrible.” And I return the book to the library.
 
There are too many good books in the world worth reading to continue journeying through pages that you leaf quickly through without thought or absorption, scanning for something worthwhile or interesting. That’s what I found myself doing before I came to the decision to stop reading bad books (by my judgment; others certainly could find interest or value in something I discard; kind of like putting junk in your front yard with a “free” sign on it, and the stuff disappears within a day).
 
I was daydreaming while reading. I didn’t remember the plot. I couldn’t align with any of the characters. Nothing made me think. It was like reading words, but no words were there.

After having that happen and slogging through to the end of five or six novels over the course of a year or so, I thought, “Why do you keep doing this? This bores you. Put it down. Try some other book.”
 
This leads to the question of how far to get into a plot before hitting the rejection button. Should you make a quick decision and jettison the author after 25 pages? I know people who will do that.
 
Do you set 50 pages as your threshold to give the writer a chance? How about 100?
 
There is no pat answer. Every reader has a different boredom button and ability to slog through something they find less than fulfilling.
 
We stick with books for various reasons: A friend recommended the book or writer and you believe it HAS to be good. You’ve read other things by the writer and were compelled by the plots and wonder why this new one is so bad. Someone reviewed it, giving it five stars, so that makes it great. And so on. None of these reasons pass muster though to continue flipping pages when something has lost your interest.
 
Life is too short to be bored while reading. Give the book and author a fair chance. Be willing to press the reject button if necessary and move onto something new.

​One of the most salient characteristics of U.S. society (and probably most first world countries) is our rush to judge others without having the full picture in front of us. We jump to conclusions. We presume something is true based on a morsel. We point fingers and assess blame without waiting to read, hear or see more accounts about what happened in a specific incident.

Recently, on LinkedIn, a friend of mine put up a post that she gave up “judging” others for Lent. She said it is the hardest thing she has ever done. She also said she hasn’t succeeded, and that she continues to be a work in progress (since she worked to sustain not judging people once Lent was over last year).
 
I weighed in on her LinkedIn thread with some thoughts regarding how quickly so many of us choose to make a decision about an individual or situations with extremely limited information. It is as if we want to see some do poorly, rather than wait to get a broader picture about what happened to form a more complete and accurate view.
 
It is a bad syndrome, one that decimates reputations. The syndrome also feeds on itself as one person instantaneously judging often gets someone else doing the same thing, and they trade barbs or reinforce inaccurate accounts, which leads to dissention. We need to take a step back.
 
Here is one way I’ve found to get people to step back. On the basketball court while refereeing, you often hear a fan, coach or player react by yelling “THAT’S A FOUL!?” Or, “HE TRAVELED!” Or, “CALL THE HANDCHECK!” They do this without thinking. They don’t wait for a whistle. It’s like they are more committed to complaining than they are to watching the game.
 
When I blow the whistle immediately during this time of action to signal what the complainers are screaming about (because I saw it too, and am doing my job by assessing the penalty), use the following response directly to the individual when there is the time and occasion to do so (which is not frequently): “Would you mind giving me one-tenth of one second to blow my whistle, please?”
 
You may find this humorous or disarming. You may find me sarcastic for responding in such a manner. But, it is successful, and what it does is quickly point out to the person yelling to STOP JUDGING and let the officials do their job. Give us a chance to execute.
 
Though I doubt they take the lesson home with them, on the basketball court they typically smile, nod their heads, acknowledge my point and move on. That’s good.
 
During journalism class in college our professor postulated a scene, and the class had a fascinating discussion that stays with me to this day. He said to imagine a car accident. One witness saw the impact. The second one saw the car spin out of control around a corner. A third saw the car crash into a storefront.
 
To see the COMPLETE PICTURE (and even then it is never complete, because there are others who could have witnessed the incident and reported what they saw), the journalist had to interview all of them to write a solid account. And, as noted in the parenthesis above, it is still never a 100 percent account of what actually happened because the three interviewed would only be a representative excerpt to recreate the core of what happened.
 
One of my favorite phrases that has evolved over the years is, “Let’s not be so quick to judge.” Or, “Let’s not rush to judge. Wait to see more of the facts come in first.”
 
Our society is very much driven now by instantaneous judgement, it is very unhealthy. We can all change that.

​What’s your favorite personal line? A go-to phrase that encapsulates a response or statement that reflects on multiple situations?

You probably never think of this. You just say something, not realizing you said it 18,541 times before. Similar to former NFL quarterback and current NFL TV announcer Tony Romo, who says “outstanding” an average of 27 times during each broadcast.
 
No one has told him to stop. No one has told him he’s being repetitive. No one has said, “Hey, why don’t you use marvelous, wonderful, spectacular, phenomenal, delightful, titanic, monumental?” There are so many to choose from. He should print a list out and read from it at the start of the game, and work his way down to the bottom before returning to the top, to ensure variety.
 
Even the basic words, like “good” or “very good” “great” or “excellent,” would help Romo diversify his game. We’re all stuck in similar ways at times.

We choose phrases we’re comfortable with (for whatever reason). They roll off the tongue. Perhaps they’ve made people laugh in the past, or we’ve found a sweet spot with the word/phrase that gets attention.
 
A good friend of mine who is close to 70 will use his go-to line when someone chirps at him about something he was told 19 minutes ago, and is now being reminded about, “Hey, I’m almost 70 years old. Give me a break.” It’s a good one. If you’re in that age bracket, feel free to steal.
 
When people tell you bad news,  or a situation arises that you can’t affect, or someone wants your help but you can’t share time to help them fix something, one of my favorite responses has become, “Oh, well.” It says so much.

It acknowledges futility. There just ain’t nuthin’ you can do. “Oh, well.” Say it, and you’ll feel better. Seriously.
 
Another all-time favorite of mine comes from Sponge Bob. I forget whether he said it or Squidward. Whoever claims it, the phrase is stated when someone goes way out, acting, thinking or stating they are going to do something that you know dang well will never happen.
 
Your response (via Sponge Bob/Squidward) -- “Good luck with that.” Say it in Sponge Bob’s voice for greater effect. You’ll smile to yourself.

Similar to “oh, well,” you’ll find yourself feeling better when you use “good luck with that.” Again, it recognizes futility. Perhaps you recognize the insanity of a coworker’s proposal. “Good luck with that” is a good response. Someone suggests they’re going to do something you know they will never attempt. “Well, good luck with that” is the perfect response.
 
Long ago, I was Tony Romo, overusing the word “outstanding” to the point where my wife asked me to stop, which I did. I loaded up on all those other marvelous and delightful choices.
 
While futility phrases are good to recognize when the walls block you, experimenting with language takes you in the opposite direction – expanding, growing, learning, adding humor, embracing changing circumstances. Pull out your Thesaurus (the old fashioned one or online, it doesn’t matter). Play around. See what you can create that is fresh and new.  If it doesn’t click and you have to acknowledge your futility, “Oh, well.”

​My younger brother recently gave a subscription for “Highlights” magazine to his grandson. For the uninitiated, Highlights caters to imaginative and creative activities, including the “hidden pictures” page, always my favorite when I was a young kid (and probably long after).
 
There is something about finding an item that gets your thinking going and engages you. You want to dig in. You’re curious.
 
Facebook knows about this. You find puzzles frequently posted, asking you to find the hidden letter in a field of “X’s.” Or, there is a field screen shot covered in the number “3,” and somewhere in there is the number “8,” and they ask if you can find it under 30 seconds.

These posts find an audience. People publish the time it took them to find the hidden item or how difficult it was or how the number never activated their consciousness.
 
It’s good that people continue to discover. Whether it’s through puzzles or new hobbies, taking up something that gets your mind solving a riddle is a good thing.

With the new year, and people making resolutions and setting goals, I think it’s nice if we maybe move away from structuring the specifics, and instead look at the more generic things that keep us growing, learning, becoming more rounded as  a human being.
 
Hidden pictures in Highlights magazine or other types of puzzles are not going to solve the world’s problems. They’re not going to get you a better job, not going to turn you into a nuclear scientist. But, I believe they do add to your repertoire of development and help you step away from some of the issues of the day that could be bothering you and allow a tiny bit of time to decompress and look at things differently.
 
I play two word games every morning: Wordl and Waffle. It’s possible you play them as well. Perhaps you play Sudoku or dabble in the New York Times crossword puzzle. Regardless, what you gain is a shot of adrenaline and a sense of accomplishment in solving something – put something together, complete a picture, figure out a riddle.

This pumps you up to start the day (or give you a respite during a stressful or boring period later in your day). It doesn’t matter necessarily when you decide to push yourself. The result is a refresher, a sense of accomplishment and slight thrill that you figured something out, sometimes more quickly than you thought you could.
 
There’s a lot to be said for challenging yourself. We all do that in certain ways, every day. Small or big, we take on tasks, figure out how to resolve an equation.
 
This past weekend, a friend of our son’s was describing how she felt uncomfortable in her job, almost like she was a fake, because she didn’t feel she knew what she was doing. I mentioned to her that is the nature of many jobs, and the challenge – you “don’t” know what’s going on, but you’re paid to figure it out. That’s fun.
 
It’s awesome to me that Highlights magazine is still around, doing their thing. It gives me hope for the world. And, it gives me hope for the next generation that my brother gave a subscription to his grandson. May he forever look forward to finding those hidden pictures. Someday, he can send me a subscription, too, so I can stay up-to-speed on finding things that can easily prove elusive.