​I’m bummed.  One more enjoyable thing in life is becoming incrementally more expensive and out of reach financially.  For me, that’s golf.
 
Increasing prices for the products and services we use are nothing new.  And golf has never been a cheap sport.  It is certainly an investment of time and money if you want to play decently and feel like you accomplish something.
 
But for the past five years or so, my older brother and I found a great way to lower the cost and play for less than $20 per round in the Dallas-Ft. Worth (DFW) metro area.  If you went near any urban area in the world, you probably couldn’t play for twice that cost. 
 
A local golf management company put together a card that you purchased for anywhere from $169-$229 depending on the price that year, then you got to play all the courses for free, any time of day, any time of the week, and the fee included use of a cart.  You can’t beat that.
As long as we stuck to the 10-12 courses on the card (you got to play each course once, and if you played it a second time, you still got a 20 percent discount), the average cost was less than twenty bucks per outing.  That’s dang good.

That system is now going away.  We knew it was too good to last, but kept thanking the golf gods for giving us the opportunity to hang out together and not break our respective family banks.  Now, we’re not sure what to do.
 
The company that put the card out in past years has been taken over by a new management firm and the way the pay structure is now set up, you get a couple of free courses and a percentage discount.  It’s hardly worth it.
 
The card had put the price of golf back into the range where more people could consider playing the sport.  Without it, the field narrows considerably.  And that’s incredibly sad.

It’s another example of something going way beyond the means of the Normal Joe.  So my brother and I will play less, look for special deals, maybe go out at twilight just to get some swings in, tell a few jokes and stories, and appreciate the hangout time.
 
Golf is certainly discretionary personal spending, so many people will have little sympathy for the message here.  They can’t afford golf regardless, or they don’t care about it. 
 
Golf is a business.  Those who run courses have to make their ends meet, and most must turn a profit to stay alive.  If fewer people play, management must raise fees, or figure out some way to make money elsewhere, like at the bar, driving range, pro shop or restaurant.
 
Cutting costs is the other option.  Have fewer people work on the maintenance crew, don’t mow the fairways as often, curtail your hours of operation.  The measures are similar to those taken by any industry looking to stay alive year after year.

So I get it.  But it doesn’t make it any less sad for someone who loves the game, being outdoors, enjoying the elements rather than holing up inside.
 
I fear for the game and its future.  Millennials already forsake the game.  People raising kids don’t have time to play.  Fees, equipment and golf balls are all dollar investments that keep the cost out of reach of the mainstream.
 
When we lose special deals, the next round of players gets squeezed out.  Pretty soon there won’t be anyone left.

​It’s damn hard not to complain these days, don’t you think?  A friend of mine sent me an email recently about his New Year’s resolution to be more positive.  “Good luck with that,” Sponge Bob says in his nasal voice.
 
Desire doesn’t make it so.  Action does. 
 
As an immediate problem solver, my friend addressed some of the whining coming his way at work.  Somehow, perhaps because he has a soft side that encourages people to come visit his office to voice opinions on whatever dang subject they want, he listens to his employees for way too long.  That frustrates him.  In fact, he probably wants to complain about it, but not being a complainer himself, he decided to do something about it instead.
 
He solved the problem by creating a sign to post over his door.  His office is now designated a “complaint-free” zone.
 
Have I mentioned that I hold this friend in high esteem?  This idea borders on genius.  He should be promoted to head corporate guru and given a 500 percent raise and his pension should be immediately quadrupled.  Even that may not be enough compensation for the value he has added to his organization by sharing and promoting this concept.
 
So far, there has only been early feedback.  Traffic to his office has stopped except for people coming in to address issues in a positive way.  In other words, people come in and speak to him about what needs to get done to finish a project, meet a deadline, accomplish something that moves the organization forward.
 
It doesn’t necessarily mean that people have stopped complaining.  They could quite easily now be complaining about him behind closed doors in another part of the building, “Man, my manager is such a jerk.  He used to listen to me whine and now he won’t let us talk like that in his office.  What do you think I should do, Janice?”
 
Janice, if she is smart, will leave it alone.  She’ll nod her head and reply, “Get your job done and explain to your boss some new ideas you have for contributing to the bottom line and how that will increase our membership while eliminating public criticism about our hiring program.”
 
Eliminating complaining is probably impossible.  But with this tactic, my friend is taking a giant step forward to creating a corporate complaint-free culture.  What nirvana that could be.
 
Among other categories, he has forbidden complaints in some of the following areas:  Accounting; clients; colleagues; computers; equipment; executive management; family; marketing; training; meetings; purchasing processes and workflow systems.
 
I would add the following:  Bathrooms; strategic direction; declining health care benefits; the weather; office space; cell phone policies; upper management perks; travel restrictions; bad coffee in the break room; garbage in the parking lot; air conditioning or heating being too high or too low.
 
The office of my friend remains open for discussing ideas, solutions to problems, job challenges and general “pleasant chatting” (love the phrase).  There is a difference between presenting a real problem that the business can solve and just kvetching.
 
Complaining is not banned.  It can be done outside his office.  I’m sure he’ll be drawn into those conversations with a higher degree of frequency than he might like, probably because he is a good listener.  That’s his biggest problem.  He should learn to ignore people more, but that doesn’t come with his territory.

So he is stuck with putting up notes to his people, and he reserves the right to add to his list at any point.  I’m looking forward to hearing the longer term results.

​An African American friend of mine writes a regular column that he sends out via email and sometimes over Facebook.  Recently he addressed the issue of cultural awareness.  He made a crucial point about the importance of being aware of how people from different backgrounds approach issues, communicate, and indeed, have different belief systems.  Finding understanding – transcending the unique ways that each of us looks at things – mandates that we think long and hard about the other side.
 
Most of us have been raised at least having heard the phrase, “Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.”  Most of us don’t live with that in mind.  We push it way back and prefer not to think about it.  We prefer to point fingers, we choose not to listen and we assume our way of living or thinking is “the” way.
 
That’s not true, as any mature person learns through the many stages of life.  There are as many ways of looking at the world as there are human beings.  Groups of people, tribes, cultures, countries identify with specific messages, attitudes and beliefs.  If we do not grow up exposed to those views, it’s easy to laugh, neglect or demonize them.  In a highly diverse world that is dangerous for everyone.
 
As my friend points out, cultural awareness is tremendously important.  And it works both sides of the street.
 
Around 20 years ago when I still refereed high school and college basketball, a good professional colleague who worked games with me regularly was with me in my office and we had a lively conversation going.  We were friends.  Or so I thought.
 
I fully understand the bad connotations of using the phrase “boy,” and what it means in the context of slavery, and have never used that term in a bullying or bossing way.  I’ve used it when referring to boys.  I have also (and continue to do so to this day) used the phrase, “attaboy” with people I like to demonstrate I appreciate something they did.

As he and I spoke, he got me laughing at something.  As a term of endearment, I said, “attaboy.”  He read me the riot act.  I was taken aback.
 
I explained my complete understanding when not to use the “boy” term and explained that, “attaboy is me patting  you on the back, supporting you, congratulating you, telling you what a great job you did.  It is a sign of our friendship.  I thought we knew each other well enough for me to extend that phrase in friendship to you.”
 
He remained angry.  He did not see my point.  I apologized.  I’m not sure ultimately what he took away from our discussion.  I hope it was a willingness to look at things differently.
 
We cannot change the past.  I can’t change that conversation.  I also would not will our discussion away.  It was excellent cultural awareness for both of us.  His words and view were important to him, and it was good that he raised his points to me.
 
I hope today he is willing to accept an “attaboy” of praise delivered in the right way from some white guy who may not know him well.  If that take-away occurred for both of us, we mutually enriched our society and the world.
 
Bruised feelings, hate crimes and even shootings are not going away overnight.  In the chaotic and violent United States of the 21st century, greater cultural awareness all around helps everyone lower the level of violence
 
If we all took a step forward instead of a step back and CHOOSE to shake a hand, learn a phrase, share an embrace, we might just make a dent in those numbers over the coming decade.

​Seventeen years ago I began writing this column, starting with a mass shooting in Arkansas. If I remember correctly, a young teenager took his grandparents’ guns and blew some people away.  I was emotionally torn by the incident, which kicked off a newspaper column in Columbus, Nebraska, where the editor was kind enough to give me a forum.

Back then the Internet was barely functional.  I don’t remember whether I brought an electronic file to the editor on a weekly basis or emailed one to her.  Regardless, the readership was hand-held in the sense of picking up a newspaper and turning the pages.  I met editors face-to-face, talked to them and they decided whether to carry my column.  The modern miracle known as the Internet has changed that.  You can go from zero to seventy in a week.
 
My older brother, for example, has had an idea for a children’s book for more than twenty years.  He tried and failed in all the conventional publishing channels at the time, but now, just in time for the holiday, “Dingle’s Christmas Adventure” has landed online.  Back in 1992 that couldn’t have happened. Today, because the Internet crushes publishing barriers, he’s able to  offer his book to readers around the world – kinda like Santa Claus delivering gifts to kids.
 
I’m not sure what generated my brother’s idea for “Dingle’s Christmas Adventure” (http://amzn.com/B017JOLO3Q for Kindle or paperback, or https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/dingles-christmas-adventure/id1059017831?mt=11 for iBooks).  Probably some odd creative juice or adult beverages were involved in the birth of Dingle.  What’s more interesting is anyone who wants to can now self-publish and get their novel, children’s story, poetry, or essays out to the masses.  The material may sell or might not.  The beauty is if you have the drive, concept and follow-through, you can get a book to market.    
 
Then success is up to you. 
 
In some ways, it’s incredible that I am still published after seventeen years.  How many things could go wrong?
 
At the start of my column, I got multiple editors throughout Nebraska to pick up what I wrote and carry the piece on a weekly basis.  I added a newspaper in Kankakee, IL, where I went to high school.  From there, we moved to Kennett Square, PA, and two papers there agreed to carry my writing.  We then headed to Texas, and our local paper picked up the column on a semi-regular basis. Sure, connections were made at each step through discussions, but the Internet made things happen. 
 
Dingle Claus could not have happened 20 years ago without acceptance by an agent or publisher, dozens of whom rejected my brother’s story in the early 90’s. Certainly the story could have been written, but the ability to bring the book to a wider audience didn’t exist without the aid of the publishing industry.  Do-it-yourself only really became practical in the past five years or so as self-publishing costs declined.
 
Publishing your own stories may not turn you into a hit.  The market place is still skewed in favor of established authors who create franchises for the publishing houses. That will work against my bro.
 
But it you have a child or a grandchild who wants a unique Christmas message about teamwork and individual strengths, then remember, “Dingle’s Christmas Adventure.”  Check it out, see what you think.  Write a review.
 
What the heck, maybe it’s all about the South Pole and this North Pole thing as been the wrong way to look at the Santa Claus myth. Wait, don’t let your kids read this column if they still believe in old Mr. Claus.
 
Note to my bother. Dude, there’s a grammatical error in your book. Fix it!