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A Second Chance

3/6/2016

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​Give a person a second chance. Watch a movie more than once. Read a book again. Why?
 
Upon reconsideration you learn something new. The first time you do anything, the excitement takes over. The second time, additional layers unfold. You see nuances in plots. Characters show an unseen side. A new acquaintance shares an unexpected side of her personality.
 
For these reasons, it’s good to give people and things a second chance. For some odd reason though, human nature takes first perceptions and makes that your only perception. We lose something in our lives by not opening ourselves to second opportunities.
 
Many years ago, I chose to start rereading the books in my personal library. This served many functions. The main purpose initially was to decide whether to save any of the books to pass down to our kids. Rereading novels quickly either 1) reinforced that the book I loved upon first reading was worthy of keeping and sharing, or 2) made me scratch my head and wonder what I was thinking about the first time I read it.
 
I found much more. A new world opened. That’s supposed to happen when you read a book or watch a movie. It’s why we entertain ourselves that way. No one ever tells us though to go back and re-explore. Instead, once done, you’re supposed to set aside the book in your library and let it attract dust.
 
With movies the same thing happens. I’m not sure when it occurred to me, but at some point when watching “The Terminator” for the third or fourth time (or it could have been “Three Days of the Condor”), I thought to myself, “Was I asleep the first two times I watched this movie, because I certainly don’t remember this scene.”
 
That’s the big point: We gloss over many conversations and visuals the first time we see or hear them. It’s probably not even that we gloss over them. It’s likely that our brains only capture so many images or so much data, then it spills out. When we go back a second, third or fourth time to take something in, we find a new ripple disturbing the water.
 
The movie “Elf” is another great example. Our family now watches it annually at Christmas. I have my classic laugh at certain scenes. Other times I watch in stunned initial amazement at the nuance of Will Ferrell’s humor and the subtle moments that make the flick so sublime, with a remark like, “I don’t remember this scene at all.”
 
While in college, one of my English professors came into class the first day with a tattered copy of John Updike’s, “Rabbit, Run.” At the time, I had never heard of the book, yet the prof had read it multiple times and he taught that class with a profound joy, exclaiming as new revelations occurred to him during the semester. It amazed me, and I think it also prepared me to re-experience things in the years ahead.
 
Sometimes you should judge a book by its cover. Many times we shouldn’t judge it until we’ve read it twice. That’s when you can form a better reasoned judgment.
 
I have a long-term good friend who I abhorred the first time I met her, blown away by her boorish (to me) behavior. Then, we talked off to the side, and joined a business group together and met at some functions, finding many common interests and a mutual sense of the absurd.
 
If we’d stuck to our first impressions (and she probably felt the same way about me), our life would be poorer today. Enrich yourself. Give things a second chance and see how the plot unfolds. 
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