One of the most salient characteristics of U.S. society (and probably most first world countries) is our rush to judge others without having the full picture in front of us. We jump to conclusions. We presume something is true based on a morsel. We point fingers and assess blame without waiting to read, hear or see more accounts about what happened in a specific incident.
Recently, on LinkedIn, a friend of mine put up a post that she gave up “judging” others for Lent. She said it is the hardest thing she has ever done. She also said she hasn’t succeeded, and that she continues to be a work in progress (since she worked to sustain not judging people once Lent was over last year).
I weighed in on her LinkedIn thread with some thoughts regarding how quickly so many of us choose to make a decision about an individual or situations with extremely limited information. It is as if we want to see some do poorly, rather than wait to get a broader picture about what happened to form a more complete and accurate view.
It is a bad syndrome, one that decimates reputations. The syndrome also feeds on itself as one person instantaneously judging often gets someone else doing the same thing, and they trade barbs or reinforce inaccurate accounts, which leads to dissention. We need to take a step back.
Here is one way I’ve found to get people to step back. On the basketball court while refereeing, you often hear a fan, coach or player react by yelling “THAT’S A FOUL!?” Or, “HE TRAVELED!” Or, “CALL THE HANDCHECK!” They do this without thinking. They don’t wait for a whistle. It’s like they are more committed to complaining than they are to watching the game.
When I blow the whistle immediately during this time of action to signal what the complainers are screaming about (because I saw it too, and am doing my job by assessing the penalty), use the following response directly to the individual when there is the time and occasion to do so (which is not frequently): “Would you mind giving me one-tenth of one second to blow my whistle, please?”
You may find this humorous or disarming. You may find me sarcastic for responding in such a manner. But, it is successful, and what it does is quickly point out to the person yelling to STOP JUDGING and let the officials do their job. Give us a chance to execute.
Though I doubt they take the lesson home with them, on the basketball court they typically smile, nod their heads, acknowledge my point and move on. That’s good.
During journalism class in college our professor postulated a scene, and the class had a fascinating discussion that stays with me to this day. He said to imagine a car accident. One witness saw the impact. The second one saw the car spin out of control around a corner. A third saw the car crash into a storefront.
To see the COMPLETE PICTURE (and even then it is never complete, because there are others who could have witnessed the incident and reported what they saw), the journalist had to interview all of them to write a solid account. And, as noted in the parenthesis above, it is still never a 100 percent account of what actually happened because the three interviewed would only be a representative excerpt to recreate the core of what happened.
One of my favorite phrases that has evolved over the years is, “Let’s not be so quick to judge.” Or, “Let’s not rush to judge. Wait to see more of the facts come in first.”
Our society is very much driven now by instantaneous judgement, it is very unhealthy. We can all change that.
Recently, on LinkedIn, a friend of mine put up a post that she gave up “judging” others for Lent. She said it is the hardest thing she has ever done. She also said she hasn’t succeeded, and that she continues to be a work in progress (since she worked to sustain not judging people once Lent was over last year).
I weighed in on her LinkedIn thread with some thoughts regarding how quickly so many of us choose to make a decision about an individual or situations with extremely limited information. It is as if we want to see some do poorly, rather than wait to get a broader picture about what happened to form a more complete and accurate view.
It is a bad syndrome, one that decimates reputations. The syndrome also feeds on itself as one person instantaneously judging often gets someone else doing the same thing, and they trade barbs or reinforce inaccurate accounts, which leads to dissention. We need to take a step back.
Here is one way I’ve found to get people to step back. On the basketball court while refereeing, you often hear a fan, coach or player react by yelling “THAT’S A FOUL!?” Or, “HE TRAVELED!” Or, “CALL THE HANDCHECK!” They do this without thinking. They don’t wait for a whistle. It’s like they are more committed to complaining than they are to watching the game.
When I blow the whistle immediately during this time of action to signal what the complainers are screaming about (because I saw it too, and am doing my job by assessing the penalty), use the following response directly to the individual when there is the time and occasion to do so (which is not frequently): “Would you mind giving me one-tenth of one second to blow my whistle, please?”
You may find this humorous or disarming. You may find me sarcastic for responding in such a manner. But, it is successful, and what it does is quickly point out to the person yelling to STOP JUDGING and let the officials do their job. Give us a chance to execute.
Though I doubt they take the lesson home with them, on the basketball court they typically smile, nod their heads, acknowledge my point and move on. That’s good.
During journalism class in college our professor postulated a scene, and the class had a fascinating discussion that stays with me to this day. He said to imagine a car accident. One witness saw the impact. The second one saw the car spin out of control around a corner. A third saw the car crash into a storefront.
To see the COMPLETE PICTURE (and even then it is never complete, because there are others who could have witnessed the incident and reported what they saw), the journalist had to interview all of them to write a solid account. And, as noted in the parenthesis above, it is still never a 100 percent account of what actually happened because the three interviewed would only be a representative excerpt to recreate the core of what happened.
One of my favorite phrases that has evolved over the years is, “Let’s not be so quick to judge.” Or, “Let’s not rush to judge. Wait to see more of the facts come in first.”
Our society is very much driven now by instantaneous judgement, it is very unhealthy. We can all change that.