A good friend of mine is the best conversation starter I’ve ever met. He defers out of humbleness. Yet year after year when we eat lunch together or have the opportunity to talk later into the evening, he springs new topics, challenges your perspective and brings levity and insight to discussions in a fresh way.
I look up to him. In fact, I model myself after him when it comes to bringing people into a conversation and nudging them to engage. There is both science and art involved in this.
Getting people around you to lighten up, and free good energy to be more creative and embracing is a worthy goal. It makes for a better work environment, adds to your family life and enlivens your social experience.
But generating new topics that bring people together and activate them to talk with each other takes an approach that is thoughtful and forward-thinking. You have to stay ahead of them. You have to look down the road and find subject matter that challenges, reinforces or illuminates.
There are many ways to do this. One which I find worthy is putting up a weekly message on my work grease board. It creates a market for discussion.
Each week, I find a quote that spurs my thoughts. It could be funny, it might relate to business or it could provide motivational support.
A striking thing occurs: People read it. And they comment on it. Then, sometimes they even stop by my gray cube farm and talk with me. This connects us. That is crucial.
Other times, a clandestine human being decides not to engage. Instead, that individual chooses to leave a special note on the grease board. Sometimes they change the message slightly to make it closer to a version they prefer. Other times, they insert a phrase or modification that makes it funnier or more robust.
Regardless of whether it’s an author penning new words on my wall, or someone stopping by to chat, what the weekly statement does is generate conversation. Someone strolls by. S/he starts thinking about the phrase. The mental juices flow. And then whammo, a boring day morphs into one where we test boundaries.
People want to know what I will put up next. If I miss a week, they want to know what’s wrong. They remind me that the phrase has been up there for a while.
This is good, too, because it shows people pay attention. They think. They want to see a new idea.
“Ideals are peaceful; history is violent” is the phrase up right now. It’s from the movie, “Fury,” about the WWII tank team fighting the Nazis in Germany. It struck me when Brad Pitt spoke it to the rookie gunner who joined his team after their previous tank mate had been killed.
It’s easy to wish for something is the way I read that line from the movie, but the reality is a lot tougher. You have to get down in the trenches and fight it out. You can be a pacifist at heart, but not in war.
“What you do trumps what you say every time.” That’s another recent posting on the grease board. I like this one because it strays from the cliché of “you need to walk the talk.” It’s stronger, more direct.
That’s what jump-starts people – coming up with a new angle that refreshes how they see things. Otherwise stale, tepid statements take over, you’re ignored and zombie-like behavior takes over.
It’s not easy starting good conversations (or keeping them going, for that matter). The result is worth the effort. Dig a little.
I look up to him. In fact, I model myself after him when it comes to bringing people into a conversation and nudging them to engage. There is both science and art involved in this.
Getting people around you to lighten up, and free good energy to be more creative and embracing is a worthy goal. It makes for a better work environment, adds to your family life and enlivens your social experience.
But generating new topics that bring people together and activate them to talk with each other takes an approach that is thoughtful and forward-thinking. You have to stay ahead of them. You have to look down the road and find subject matter that challenges, reinforces or illuminates.
There are many ways to do this. One which I find worthy is putting up a weekly message on my work grease board. It creates a market for discussion.
Each week, I find a quote that spurs my thoughts. It could be funny, it might relate to business or it could provide motivational support.
A striking thing occurs: People read it. And they comment on it. Then, sometimes they even stop by my gray cube farm and talk with me. This connects us. That is crucial.
Other times, a clandestine human being decides not to engage. Instead, that individual chooses to leave a special note on the grease board. Sometimes they change the message slightly to make it closer to a version they prefer. Other times, they insert a phrase or modification that makes it funnier or more robust.
Regardless of whether it’s an author penning new words on my wall, or someone stopping by to chat, what the weekly statement does is generate conversation. Someone strolls by. S/he starts thinking about the phrase. The mental juices flow. And then whammo, a boring day morphs into one where we test boundaries.
People want to know what I will put up next. If I miss a week, they want to know what’s wrong. They remind me that the phrase has been up there for a while.
This is good, too, because it shows people pay attention. They think. They want to see a new idea.
“Ideals are peaceful; history is violent” is the phrase up right now. It’s from the movie, “Fury,” about the WWII tank team fighting the Nazis in Germany. It struck me when Brad Pitt spoke it to the rookie gunner who joined his team after their previous tank mate had been killed.
It’s easy to wish for something is the way I read that line from the movie, but the reality is a lot tougher. You have to get down in the trenches and fight it out. You can be a pacifist at heart, but not in war.
“What you do trumps what you say every time.” That’s another recent posting on the grease board. I like this one because it strays from the cliché of “you need to walk the talk.” It’s stronger, more direct.
That’s what jump-starts people – coming up with a new angle that refreshes how they see things. Otherwise stale, tepid statements take over, you’re ignored and zombie-like behavior takes over.
It’s not easy starting good conversations (or keeping them going, for that matter). The result is worth the effort. Dig a little.