A number of weeks ago, my wife, our younger daughter and I went out to dinner. A woman with a young son sat next to us. She spoke with him, looked him in the eye, smiled, engaged his attention.
They bantered back and forth. The boy was clearly happy. The mother came across the same way. It made me pause and reflect back on the awesome days when our kids were younger and you got to goof around and get them laughing.
Human interaction is so important. You could see the bonding of mother and son, who appeared to be around 4-years-old.
Their conversation and play lasted 15 minutes or so. Then the father arrived.
He kissed his wife, said hi to his son, then quickly it was off to the bathroom. The mother pulled out her smart phone. She typed away the entire time the two males were gone.
After their return, she put the phone down briefly and a husband-wife discussion ensued. The boy sat politely quiet. When the adults finished up after about five minutes, they pulled out their phones and started surfing.
The boy had no device. As the parents tapped away silently, no one talked to each other, took in the weather (we were sitting outside), or interacted face-to-face. They were electronically isolated. The boy looked around, fidgeted, and pushed his napkin around the table.
Most of us can relate to work sometimes infringing after hours. Sometimes you have to catch up. Still, parents should be setting an example by setting aside time to “be” with their child, not just assume the position of an inanimate object.
Kids crave attention. They want to hear from their parents. They love playing word games, verbalizing what they see and seeking answers from their parents to all the weird little questions swirling around their heads.
“Mom, why is that flower purple?”
Fifteen years ago, the mother would have given a long answer, possibly invented, about how plants and flowers became colorful. But at least it was a response.
Now, when a question is posed by the child, he is met with silence or the badgered incessant tapping on the smart phone. If the 4-year-old could only learn to write more quickly, he could jump right into the work world and start messaging away AND communicating with his parents without talking.
You have to give these two parents credit for not putting an electronic device in their young boy’s hands. That is at least a bit of a moral victory, as the boy could look around at what was going on in the restaurant, watch bugs flying around, or feel the breeze blow through his hair.
He won’t remember much. When he’s 20, he may think back on a silent childhood spent living inside his head, creating fantasies, wondering why his parents didn’t hear him when he asked a question.
“Dad, I remember this time we went out to eat at Cheesecake Factory and you took me inside to look at all the choices for dessert. Do you remember that?”
“I, uh, ahem, ummmm, no son. Is there something you want to tell me?”
It’s right now actually, while the three are sitting down to dinner at a restaurant, that the son wants to talk and interact with his father and mother, but he’s losing out on that experience, as are his parents. So much is lost by both.
The smart phone provides connection value. But it also disconnects us, often from the ones we love. Be wary.
They bantered back and forth. The boy was clearly happy. The mother came across the same way. It made me pause and reflect back on the awesome days when our kids were younger and you got to goof around and get them laughing.
Human interaction is so important. You could see the bonding of mother and son, who appeared to be around 4-years-old.
Their conversation and play lasted 15 minutes or so. Then the father arrived.
He kissed his wife, said hi to his son, then quickly it was off to the bathroom. The mother pulled out her smart phone. She typed away the entire time the two males were gone.
After their return, she put the phone down briefly and a husband-wife discussion ensued. The boy sat politely quiet. When the adults finished up after about five minutes, they pulled out their phones and started surfing.
The boy had no device. As the parents tapped away silently, no one talked to each other, took in the weather (we were sitting outside), or interacted face-to-face. They were electronically isolated. The boy looked around, fidgeted, and pushed his napkin around the table.
Most of us can relate to work sometimes infringing after hours. Sometimes you have to catch up. Still, parents should be setting an example by setting aside time to “be” with their child, not just assume the position of an inanimate object.
Kids crave attention. They want to hear from their parents. They love playing word games, verbalizing what they see and seeking answers from their parents to all the weird little questions swirling around their heads.
“Mom, why is that flower purple?”
Fifteen years ago, the mother would have given a long answer, possibly invented, about how plants and flowers became colorful. But at least it was a response.
Now, when a question is posed by the child, he is met with silence or the badgered incessant tapping on the smart phone. If the 4-year-old could only learn to write more quickly, he could jump right into the work world and start messaging away AND communicating with his parents without talking.
You have to give these two parents credit for not putting an electronic device in their young boy’s hands. That is at least a bit of a moral victory, as the boy could look around at what was going on in the restaurant, watch bugs flying around, or feel the breeze blow through his hair.
He won’t remember much. When he’s 20, he may think back on a silent childhood spent living inside his head, creating fantasies, wondering why his parents didn’t hear him when he asked a question.
“Dad, I remember this time we went out to eat at Cheesecake Factory and you took me inside to look at all the choices for dessert. Do you remember that?”
“I, uh, ahem, ummmm, no son. Is there something you want to tell me?”
It’s right now actually, while the three are sitting down to dinner at a restaurant, that the son wants to talk and interact with his father and mother, but he’s losing out on that experience, as are his parents. So much is lost by both.
The smart phone provides connection value. But it also disconnects us, often from the ones we love. Be wary.