Our son Kirby has a phrase he uses that mocks the person speaking to him. His response isn’t so unusual for a soon-to-be 20-year-old. It makes me laugh when he uses it.
At the same time, like other ironic or sarcastic statements, there’s a grain of truth in it that causes the humor to be effective. You have to be aware of the situation or your actions to get the reason his statement is funny.
His pet phrase is, “Don’t tell me what to do.” It’s applied in multiple situations, typically in random fashion after you say something like, “Bring the car around to the front of the restaurant to pick us up.” Or, “You get the tickets while we run a quick errand.”
“Don’t tell me what to do” draws a chuckle when used in little everyday life activities. You smile, you may even laugh because his response causes you to pause and really think about how you approach the way you deal with others: “Do I go around telling people what to do all the time?”
“Telling” people things takes you into dicey terrain. Do you want to be talked about as a “know-it-all?” If you’re pushing opinions frequently onto others, and you see people turn away or ignore you when entering the room, maybe you’ve been “telling” them too many things instead of asking questions or listening to what they have to say.
There was a person I worked with many years ago who would say, “Let me tell you,” and then he would go on to list a whole series of work projects that he directed your way, with multiple details that didn’t make sense. There was no consideration for other activities on your plate. You typically didn’t have time to clarify issues or find out what were the most important items to get done first. This left you exhausted and frustrated because there wasn’t a give and take in terms of what was the best approach to get things done.
He told you, which implied you have no “say so” in the matter. And that’s where Kirby’s phrase forces you to take a second, even though he is poking fun at mundane situations we face every day. “Don’t tell me what to do” forces you to take a step back and examine how you approach conversation and communication with others.
If you take the phrase to heart, it makes you a better person. Rather than “telling,” spend some time inquiring. Sit down, find out what makes the other person tick. Understand his or her perspective first, find out their motivations and what is going on in their life, then let that swill around in your brain a bit before figuring out any next steps.
This applies to work, play, any life situation. It applies to family, friends and coworkers.
When you choose to tell, you’re making a demand. That type of remark makes the hair bristle on most people’s backs. They resent the statement or plain don’t want to do what you “tell” them. They’ll grunt or shrug their shoulders or shuffle off disconsolately to get the job done, but they won’t like it and you won’t get buy-in from them. And oddly, that’s what you seek – connecting with the individual so what you want done gets done precisely, effectively and in a timely fashion.
If you’re a “teller,” take a breather and ask questions next time you sit down with someone. Pay attention, recalibrate, and then make a suggestion or ask for the person to take on a task with a “please” or “would you mind if?” Own the approach. If you hear “don’t tell me what to do in response,” it’s back to the drawing board.
At the same time, like other ironic or sarcastic statements, there’s a grain of truth in it that causes the humor to be effective. You have to be aware of the situation or your actions to get the reason his statement is funny.
His pet phrase is, “Don’t tell me what to do.” It’s applied in multiple situations, typically in random fashion after you say something like, “Bring the car around to the front of the restaurant to pick us up.” Or, “You get the tickets while we run a quick errand.”
“Don’t tell me what to do” draws a chuckle when used in little everyday life activities. You smile, you may even laugh because his response causes you to pause and really think about how you approach the way you deal with others: “Do I go around telling people what to do all the time?”
“Telling” people things takes you into dicey terrain. Do you want to be talked about as a “know-it-all?” If you’re pushing opinions frequently onto others, and you see people turn away or ignore you when entering the room, maybe you’ve been “telling” them too many things instead of asking questions or listening to what they have to say.
There was a person I worked with many years ago who would say, “Let me tell you,” and then he would go on to list a whole series of work projects that he directed your way, with multiple details that didn’t make sense. There was no consideration for other activities on your plate. You typically didn’t have time to clarify issues or find out what were the most important items to get done first. This left you exhausted and frustrated because there wasn’t a give and take in terms of what was the best approach to get things done.
He told you, which implied you have no “say so” in the matter. And that’s where Kirby’s phrase forces you to take a second, even though he is poking fun at mundane situations we face every day. “Don’t tell me what to do” forces you to take a step back and examine how you approach conversation and communication with others.
If you take the phrase to heart, it makes you a better person. Rather than “telling,” spend some time inquiring. Sit down, find out what makes the other person tick. Understand his or her perspective first, find out their motivations and what is going on in their life, then let that swill around in your brain a bit before figuring out any next steps.
This applies to work, play, any life situation. It applies to family, friends and coworkers.
When you choose to tell, you’re making a demand. That type of remark makes the hair bristle on most people’s backs. They resent the statement or plain don’t want to do what you “tell” them. They’ll grunt or shrug their shoulders or shuffle off disconsolately to get the job done, but they won’t like it and you won’t get buy-in from them. And oddly, that’s what you seek – connecting with the individual so what you want done gets done precisely, effectively and in a timely fashion.
If you’re a “teller,” take a breather and ask questions next time you sit down with someone. Pay attention, recalibrate, and then make a suggestion or ask for the person to take on a task with a “please” or “would you mind if?” Own the approach. If you hear “don’t tell me what to do in response,” it’s back to the drawing board.