
On the drive home, as the chocolate collapsed and sent a sheet or two into the fabric of the car seat, and as the soft ice cream melted and had to be rapidly licked to keep it from dripping on my lap, my passenger (a close friend) decided to give a philosophical analysis of eating the DQ chocolate dipped cone. He had obviously thought about this a lot.
He laid out the emotions of consumption – the specific initial crunch of the chocolate, feeling the thin layers crinkle, crack and fall apart, then the ice cream beginning its route towards a full meltdown. The senses you get, the reward and mixture of the two tastes and competing textures that make this cone so special.
Then, he followed up with the evolution of eating this special treat. How you have to speed up just a bit because the cone wants to get ahead of you in falling apart. You increase your speed, licking the soft serve, crunching the chocolate layers, getting a wee bit concerned that you’re going to miss out, that YOU JUST MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING DRIP ON YOU, DAMMIT, so you up your game.
You’ve become the pro by this point, using your expertise in DQ cone eating to dominate the treat, swirling it from the sides, sucking on the larger portions that could topple and fall, and licking off the juices seeking to contaminate your clothing. This takes confidence and diligence as you conquer the cone, using your prior knowledge to keep on top of the collapsing dessert.
At this point, you may be halfway through consumption. The chocolate has fallen (mostly). You’ve mounded the vanilla in the middle, creating a decent-sized hill. But there’s still a ways to go, to savor the bitty morsels left of the chocolate, to shape the soft serve with your tongue.
You continue to stay focused. You must, or things melt too quickly, and your clothes catch the debris.
Attacking the cone is coming into sight. You close in by mounding the vanilla ice cream repeatedly so that it stays within the contours of the cone, setting you up for the final push.
Yes, the soft serve is flattened. When you bite the cone, savor that first burst of the flaky carbo encrusted lightness, you know nothing will dribble out. You chew, the vanilla flavor swirling with the cone and a hint of chocolate. Nirvana!
Then, there’s the middle bite of the cone. OH, YEAH! Full mixture of the soft serve flavor and texture with the flavor and texture of the cone. It takes your emotions to another level. You don’t want this to end.
But, it must. There’s that last tiny piece of cone, with the soft serve wedged fully into it. Should you wait and make it two bites or ram the whole thing in your mouth so your cheeks bulge?
We know the answer to that. Smack your lips. Smile. Breathe deeply through your nose so you thoroughly let the tastes go to your buds. You’ve conquered the large chocolate dipped cone at DQ, a conquest, and emotional and philosophical experience. Next time you don’t have to think about it. Enjoy the ride.