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Drinking and Shaving

3/25/2018

4 Comments

 
Picture
​Don’t drink and shave. That’s my new motto.
 
Like not drinking and driving, not drinking and shaving protects you and others. You’re safer it you don’t put a razor in your hand after a few cocktails.

I have multiple examples to buttress why this is so important. I butchered my beard recently after months spent growing it.
 
In October, after foot surgery, to save time I stopped shaving. Since then, I’ve kept the facial hair. It starts to turn into a forest at times, so similar to thinning out branches, you have to trim down the beard unless you want to ride a Harley or become part of the band with ZZ Top. I’d be okay with either of those, but it would take a few years to get the proper beard length.
 
So, to stay semi-respectable on the professional front, I trim the beard. There are many ways to do this. Probably the best and safest is one I don’t employ: Buy one of those electronic trimmers designed specifically for beards and use it. Uh, okay, but of course, I don’t take that simple route.
 
Instead, I deploy regular scissors at times. At others, I use the tiny ones on my Swiss Army knife. And, finally, sometimes when I’m trimming up the edges with the razor, I will glide the razor over the major protruding blades of hair that poke out and look like they should be chopped off.
 
Any trimming leads to potentially excessive trimming. You get started and you can’t stop. “Hmmm, that looks uneven.” So you take some more off on the other side of your face.
 
You look in the mirror: “Whoa, that’s a lot thicker over there.” So you attack the other side. Suddenly your face looks like a relief map of the moon.

This past weekend, I was supremely motivated before going to bed. I’d imbibed a few, got ready for bed, looked at myself in the mirror, and decided to edge around the beard with the razor. Then I looked closely, and said to myself, “Man there are a lot of hairs poking out like crazy.”

So I gently used the razor to slice those off. I hit several spots on both cheeks, under the chin and on the mustache. Seemed okay when I left the bathroom. I even admired it before brushing my teeth and hopping into bed.

But what you see at night and what you see the next morning are not the same. Brushing my teeth, I turned my head to the right and YIKES, “What the heck happened to the left side of my face?” There was a large hole where my beard had been. Kind of like a crater – a hollowed out patch cut down to the nubs.
 
It looks bad, so when I shake hands with people I turn my face to the right and they get to see my good beard side of the face. The hair will grow back. That’s the good thing.
 
I know better now than to drink and shave my beard. Maybe the scissors would still be okay? Uh, probably not. So wait until the morning before you do any trimming. It’s the safe way to groom.
4 Comments
Peter F Flannery
3/26/2018 03:25:04 pm

$19.99 at Walgreens. Several attachments to take care of any length.

Reply
Richard Navarro
3/26/2018 08:07:41 pm

What no pictures?

Reply
Dave Simon link
3/27/2018 09:54:49 am

Only in my mind, Rick. Plus the hair has grown back in. But I thought about it.

Dave Simon link
3/27/2018 09:53:56 am

Get it for me for Father's Day.

Reply



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