
Minimize the bad and you improve your life. Maximize the good and improve your life. Do the opposite and your life heads in the opposite direction.
Seems like simple life lessons. But it seems to me that too often we fixate on the shortcut, that there’s a magical way on the journey to get to your destination which you’ll be able accomplish easily. The human urge focuses on luck or speed. “Man, if I just won that the lottery, then….. I’ve got this great idea for a novel, but don’t have the time to write it up.”
We make excuses. Or we pretend outside variables prevent us from certain goals.
Having just finished on a book on leadership that included a chapter on the importance of habits, it got me thinking about life ins general and those who succeed at their job or a specific skill or even at simple things like listening to others (ponder that one and bit, and tell me how many people in your life actually take the time to listen to what you have to say and ask a question to find out something more; I’ll bet the answer is “not many.”).
Habits are established through repetition and hard work. If you get up every morning and work out for an hour, you’re going t find that you get in better shape. Whether you try to lose weight or increase your speed or strength, that habit of daily workouts will get you there.
As a writer, 30 years ago I used to wonder how the people I read, like a newspaper columnist, non-fiction writer or novelist, got so good. There were some younger people who had published works, but they were the exception. Most really good writers take notes, tap at the keyboard, research and edit for years and years. Their skills come from their habits. If they have good habits and stick to it, what happens? Their writing keeps getting better and better.
This is true of parenting. I’m not sure we compliment good parenting enough in the world. Good parents have solid positive habits. They demonstrate through their behavior good ways to communicate, treat others and get things done on time and with a minimum of hassle. Our children, as they grow up, watch and learn from these habits.
Do you know someone who regularly shows up late to events? They probably didn’t have that parental role model demonstrating that it’s important to be on time. They didn’t establish that good habit and now they inconvenience others by showing up late regularly.
Does a coworker interrupt you regularly and not wait for you to finish a sentence before he has to tell you his next great story? He never developed the habit of listening and waiting for the other person to finish an explanation and actually consider what the person is saying, and perhaps even ask a follow-up question for elaboration. They have the bad habit of wanting to get their word in first.
Good habits take time. You must apply yourself diligently and consistently to develop good habits that bode you well over the years.
Take one bad habit and eliminate it. Take one good habit and focus on it. See how your life changes for the better.