If you are like a lot of parents today in the electronically connected world, you encounter the ignored message from your kids who have a smartphone. Your voice mails to them don’t get answered. If you send a text, you may not hear back, or they might respond in 1.2 seconds. It all depends.
What you can count on is that sometimes they will ignore what you have to say or wrote. And, you can count on this aggravating you. When you want to hear back and know what is going on, and there is no reply, it drives adults nuts.
I hear this from many friends. “I sent Jake three texts after the game last night to find out when he was going to be home and never heard back,” the wife exclaims with irritation to her husband.
It’s a common lament. We’re not asking our children to send us a handwritten 750-word letters that could serve as a full length newspaper column. All we’re asking is to let us know: “Home by 10:20.” Or, “Getting some tacos with Blake. Home after that.”
Those messages at least give us a sense of what is going on. They also give us a ballpark on when the son or daughter will get home.
Our frustration from the non-communication is the “not knowing” factor. That leads parents to speculate, usually a negative fashion. “What if he got in a car crash?” There are other, more dangerous options, the ones we let lurk deeper in the recesses of our minds. Those are the ones that make us worry and wonder, “What the heck is going on, and why won’t she text me back?”
I’m not sure our kids will ever figure out that parents don’t want to intrude on their kids’ lives (at least I don’t want to). We just want some reassurance and awareness.
During a recent conversation with another parent who has teenagers at home, an idea was batted around that just might rectify this parental dilemma. It holds its own perils, so be wary.
The next time your teenager calls your smartphone or texts you, just ignore it. Make them sweat a little.
This could very easily backfire. You can picture Blake texting Jake and saying, “Dude, it is so awesome that the rents aren’t responding to my texts. I can do anything I want now.” That would be troublesome.
But if your tactic had the intended effect of making your son or daughter exasperated with you, then you might just be able to take the situation to the next level and have a CONVERSATION about it. “So, Kaleb, how does it feel when you want to know if it’s okay to go to IHOP after the football game and we’re not giving you an answer, so you have to come home instead?”
Silence. Oh well, it was worth a try anyway.
There are a few different ways you can apply this tactic to see if you get positive results. One is to totally ignore the texts or voice mails and feign ignorance when they ask you about them. “What text? You mean you left me a voice mail?” This might work once or twice, but your average teenager will pick this one apart quickly.
A second option is to immediately rub their face in it. “So, how does it make YOU feel.” Not a good idea. You’re looking at teenager shut down if you go this route.
A third is tongue-in-cheek, “hope they get the humor” angle. Don’t respond to their texts and when they ask why, reply, “I was doing the dishes and my hands were immersed in soap suds.”
They’ll know this is false, so they’ll roll their eyes, give you a look like maybe you have a brain after all, and might think twice about responding next time. It’s worth a try.
What you can count on is that sometimes they will ignore what you have to say or wrote. And, you can count on this aggravating you. When you want to hear back and know what is going on, and there is no reply, it drives adults nuts.
I hear this from many friends. “I sent Jake three texts after the game last night to find out when he was going to be home and never heard back,” the wife exclaims with irritation to her husband.
It’s a common lament. We’re not asking our children to send us a handwritten 750-word letters that could serve as a full length newspaper column. All we’re asking is to let us know: “Home by 10:20.” Or, “Getting some tacos with Blake. Home after that.”
Those messages at least give us a sense of what is going on. They also give us a ballpark on when the son or daughter will get home.
Our frustration from the non-communication is the “not knowing” factor. That leads parents to speculate, usually a negative fashion. “What if he got in a car crash?” There are other, more dangerous options, the ones we let lurk deeper in the recesses of our minds. Those are the ones that make us worry and wonder, “What the heck is going on, and why won’t she text me back?”
I’m not sure our kids will ever figure out that parents don’t want to intrude on their kids’ lives (at least I don’t want to). We just want some reassurance and awareness.
During a recent conversation with another parent who has teenagers at home, an idea was batted around that just might rectify this parental dilemma. It holds its own perils, so be wary.
The next time your teenager calls your smartphone or texts you, just ignore it. Make them sweat a little.
This could very easily backfire. You can picture Blake texting Jake and saying, “Dude, it is so awesome that the rents aren’t responding to my texts. I can do anything I want now.” That would be troublesome.
But if your tactic had the intended effect of making your son or daughter exasperated with you, then you might just be able to take the situation to the next level and have a CONVERSATION about it. “So, Kaleb, how does it feel when you want to know if it’s okay to go to IHOP after the football game and we’re not giving you an answer, so you have to come home instead?”
Silence. Oh well, it was worth a try anyway.
There are a few different ways you can apply this tactic to see if you get positive results. One is to totally ignore the texts or voice mails and feign ignorance when they ask you about them. “What text? You mean you left me a voice mail?” This might work once or twice, but your average teenager will pick this one apart quickly.
A second option is to immediately rub their face in it. “So, how does it make YOU feel.” Not a good idea. You’re looking at teenager shut down if you go this route.
A third is tongue-in-cheek, “hope they get the humor” angle. Don’t respond to their texts and when they ask why, reply, “I was doing the dishes and my hands were immersed in soap suds.”
They’ll know this is false, so they’ll roll their eyes, give you a look like maybe you have a brain after all, and might think twice about responding next time. It’s worth a try.