We all live in our own little worlds. Sometimes we exist in isolation. Much more frequently, we’re thrown together with others, with good and bad consequences.
A classic example is this guy who lifts weights where I frequently work out in the mornings. He’s a squat guy, focused on repetitions in his routine and putting a lot of poundage on the bars he lifts.
I’m cool with that. Everyone else in the gym would be, too. If only he would be quiet about it.
And that doesn’t mean he’s walking around bragging about how strong he is or the number of times he bench presses 400 pounds.
No, what shows he’s unaware of his surroundings and in his own world are the sounds he makes. He grunts, he screams, he slams the weights down to the mat and claps his hands loudly. He sounds and acts like a gorilla in the forest – smashing, mauling, foraging.
The noises he makes would be okay if no one was around. But there are probably 50-70 other people to think about, and their personal space to consider. This guy is not the slightest concerned about his noises.
The first time I noticed his behavior was while swimming in the adjacent room, behind a closed door. His high-pitched scream and the slamming down sound of the weights jarred me. “What the heck was that?”
The next week, he started yelling after finishing his sets on each machine. I was across the gym stretching, and hearing it, went to myself, “Who is doing that?” Looking across the facility, I saw him, “Oh, it’s that guy.”
He didn’t really bother me because he was so far away and he was only at the fitness center for a short period of time that dovetailed with my workout. Still, I casually mentioned his grunting to the front desk, and she said they had gotten complaints about him.
Someone spoke with him. In recent weeks, he’s been silent. He’s still in his own world, his earbuds firmly planted, but now he doesn’t infringe on others’ hearing space.
We hide in our personal worlds in many ways. Sometimes it’s just that you aren’t awake yet, other times we purposefully isolate ourselves by putting on personal music, and at still others is may just be that we aren’t paying attention.
You notice this when people respond to your greetings. The fitness center is a great place to witness their reactions. Go up to someone you’ve seen around for a year or more but have never said a word to. Look that person in the eye and say, “Good morning.” See how s/he reacts.
Does s/he walk by, oblivious? Does s/he act stunned and flabbergasted? Does s/he immediately smile and say “hello” back to you?
If you do this, you’ll find that most people walk on by before they respond. They don’t expect you to talk, smile or offer a hand, so they stay dialed into their own little world
Sometimes you need to call people out of their shells. Wake them up.
After my workout, I sometimes go into the steam room for a few minutes to increase the sweat factor. There’s a grunter inside on some days. He stretches and grunts. He practices dance moves and grunts. He puzzles me.
He’s not bugging me just yet. But if I see him a few more times, I may just have to say hi, shake his hand, and ask about the significance of his grunting. Hopefully that’ll be enough to increase his awareness.
A classic example is this guy who lifts weights where I frequently work out in the mornings. He’s a squat guy, focused on repetitions in his routine and putting a lot of poundage on the bars he lifts.
I’m cool with that. Everyone else in the gym would be, too. If only he would be quiet about it.
And that doesn’t mean he’s walking around bragging about how strong he is or the number of times he bench presses 400 pounds.
No, what shows he’s unaware of his surroundings and in his own world are the sounds he makes. He grunts, he screams, he slams the weights down to the mat and claps his hands loudly. He sounds and acts like a gorilla in the forest – smashing, mauling, foraging.
The noises he makes would be okay if no one was around. But there are probably 50-70 other people to think about, and their personal space to consider. This guy is not the slightest concerned about his noises.
The first time I noticed his behavior was while swimming in the adjacent room, behind a closed door. His high-pitched scream and the slamming down sound of the weights jarred me. “What the heck was that?”
The next week, he started yelling after finishing his sets on each machine. I was across the gym stretching, and hearing it, went to myself, “Who is doing that?” Looking across the facility, I saw him, “Oh, it’s that guy.”
He didn’t really bother me because he was so far away and he was only at the fitness center for a short period of time that dovetailed with my workout. Still, I casually mentioned his grunting to the front desk, and she said they had gotten complaints about him.
Someone spoke with him. In recent weeks, he’s been silent. He’s still in his own world, his earbuds firmly planted, but now he doesn’t infringe on others’ hearing space.
We hide in our personal worlds in many ways. Sometimes it’s just that you aren’t awake yet, other times we purposefully isolate ourselves by putting on personal music, and at still others is may just be that we aren’t paying attention.
You notice this when people respond to your greetings. The fitness center is a great place to witness their reactions. Go up to someone you’ve seen around for a year or more but have never said a word to. Look that person in the eye and say, “Good morning.” See how s/he reacts.
Does s/he walk by, oblivious? Does s/he act stunned and flabbergasted? Does s/he immediately smile and say “hello” back to you?
If you do this, you’ll find that most people walk on by before they respond. They don’t expect you to talk, smile or offer a hand, so they stay dialed into their own little world
Sometimes you need to call people out of their shells. Wake them up.
After my workout, I sometimes go into the steam room for a few minutes to increase the sweat factor. There’s a grunter inside on some days. He stretches and grunts. He practices dance moves and grunts. He puzzles me.
He’s not bugging me just yet. But if I see him a few more times, I may just have to say hi, shake his hand, and ask about the significance of his grunting. Hopefully that’ll be enough to increase his awareness.