Lou Holtz, former head football coach for a number of major U.S. universities, including Notre Dame, recently handed out a nugget on the TV golf show “Feherty.” He had been playing golf, he explained on the show, and messing up. He started cursing.
Not recognizing the futility of his maneuver, Holtz let his anger affect his game, like so many of us who play that frustrating sport. At some point, his playing partner said, “Lou, you’re not good enough to get angry.” That stopped him, and as he described on the show, he no longer cusses on the course.
His buddy calling him out about his talent level strikes me as a catalyst for recognizing one’s weaknesses, and helping to put life in perspective. His big point was, “You aren’t as good as you think you are.”
Holtz, recognizing the truth in his playing partner’s statement, actually adapted as he continued to golf. Not using four-letter words and eliminating red-faced tirades have likely improved his score and happiness level when he does screw up. But the first step was figuring out his measuring stick – in some way he was setting a comparative standard for himself that was unrealistic.
There are many ways we hold ourselves up to standards. I doubt most of us recognize we do this. Like Holtz, we grow frustrated, expect things, and wonder why circumstances don’t turn out the way we imagine them beforehand. The difference between our fantasies and reality comes down to the barometer of expectations you deploy.
A friend of mine tells a story about a coworker arguing against their group making worthy broadcast or print visuals because they don’t have the talent to make them at an expert level. Many would call this heresy.
But the counter perspective says if you aren’t that good, focus on what you do well. In this case, that meant finding good content for the story rather than trying to make the visuals the best on the planet.
During this meeting, my friend explained, a coworker illustrated this point by singing into a recorder and playing it back to show how terrible he was at carrying a tune. No matter how many singing lessons he took, it would not improve enough to secure him a recording contract, particularly compared to someone who has a strong natural ability to sing. Play to your strengths and avoid your weaknesses – great advice for golf and life.
It’s best not to compare yourself to anyone. When you examine the phrase, “You’re not good enough to get angry about that,” what other parts of your life does it apply to?
“You’re not smart enough to be CEO.”
“You’re not driven enough to be rich.”
“You’re not talented enough to make a movie.”
“You don’t have the experience, financing and political acumen to become a U.S. Senator.”
The examples abound. Each of us has a special area that we might believe is our dream. That’s good, but it must be balanced against the reality of ability.
Most of us compare ourselves to others. This defines us, and often leads to our feelings of “success” or “insignificance.” If you never do this, then don’t read the conclusion of this piece. But if you ever have that slight itch to look at others and their accomplishments in comparison to your own, then read on.
Find your niche and keep your own barometer. Determine your expertise, what you care about, and look inside yourself for comparisons. Keeping it internal keeps your temperature down. And remember, “You may not be that good to get angry.”
Not recognizing the futility of his maneuver, Holtz let his anger affect his game, like so many of us who play that frustrating sport. At some point, his playing partner said, “Lou, you’re not good enough to get angry.” That stopped him, and as he described on the show, he no longer cusses on the course.
His buddy calling him out about his talent level strikes me as a catalyst for recognizing one’s weaknesses, and helping to put life in perspective. His big point was, “You aren’t as good as you think you are.”
Holtz, recognizing the truth in his playing partner’s statement, actually adapted as he continued to golf. Not using four-letter words and eliminating red-faced tirades have likely improved his score and happiness level when he does screw up. But the first step was figuring out his measuring stick – in some way he was setting a comparative standard for himself that was unrealistic.
There are many ways we hold ourselves up to standards. I doubt most of us recognize we do this. Like Holtz, we grow frustrated, expect things, and wonder why circumstances don’t turn out the way we imagine them beforehand. The difference between our fantasies and reality comes down to the barometer of expectations you deploy.
A friend of mine tells a story about a coworker arguing against their group making worthy broadcast or print visuals because they don’t have the talent to make them at an expert level. Many would call this heresy.
But the counter perspective says if you aren’t that good, focus on what you do well. In this case, that meant finding good content for the story rather than trying to make the visuals the best on the planet.
During this meeting, my friend explained, a coworker illustrated this point by singing into a recorder and playing it back to show how terrible he was at carrying a tune. No matter how many singing lessons he took, it would not improve enough to secure him a recording contract, particularly compared to someone who has a strong natural ability to sing. Play to your strengths and avoid your weaknesses – great advice for golf and life.
It’s best not to compare yourself to anyone. When you examine the phrase, “You’re not good enough to get angry about that,” what other parts of your life does it apply to?
“You’re not smart enough to be CEO.”
“You’re not driven enough to be rich.”
“You’re not talented enough to make a movie.”
“You don’t have the experience, financing and political acumen to become a U.S. Senator.”
The examples abound. Each of us has a special area that we might believe is our dream. That’s good, but it must be balanced against the reality of ability.
Most of us compare ourselves to others. This defines us, and often leads to our feelings of “success” or “insignificance.” If you never do this, then don’t read the conclusion of this piece. But if you ever have that slight itch to look at others and their accomplishments in comparison to your own, then read on.
Find your niche and keep your own barometer. Determine your expertise, what you care about, and look inside yourself for comparisons. Keeping it internal keeps your temperature down. And remember, “You may not be that good to get angry.”