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Killing Cobwebs

6/13/2021

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​If you are a hiker or dog walker, you can likely relate to the following: killing cobwebs. Those dastardly, sticky, stringy, fine, wispy, cottony slivers that stick on your face, hair, arms, legs and any place else they find a resting spot.

It is no wonder that Spider Man has as one of his weapons the ability to shoot spider webs to capture criminals. Wrap them up in the stuff, build giant webs so they become ensnared, use it to tie their arms or legs together.
 
Walking or hiking though, the webs are a nuisance, and not about to debilitate your movements. Unless you account for shaking your arms and hands hysterically to try and get them out of your darn face right after you’ve walked through one and become entangled.
 
Recently, my wife and I were on our morning dog walk through the woods. It’s that time of year when the webs come out. Glistening in the early morning sun. But more often than not, seemingly invisible.
 
You walk. Then say, “Dammit,” and start wiping one off your face.
 
During the walk, I typically go first, as I am taller and can maul out anything in our path, clearing the way for her. She appreciates that, being the shorter of us two. If she leads, my face still gets hammered with regularity as she’s not tall enough to blast through the higher traps the spiders set.
 
On this day, which began nicely, and not thinking about spider webs, we hit a few early on, so I decided to keep count. By the end of the trek, I’d cleared the path of 29 cobwebs.
 
It makes you wonder about the industriousness of spiders. How quickly can they remake their webs? Does it take all night? Do they curse humans for destroying their weapon?
 
Thinking of those things made me remember “Charlotte’s Web,” that childhood classic novel, where the main character, a female spider named Charlotte, spoke with a pig on the wisdom of life. I couldn’t remember though if she was upset with humans for wiping out her territory. No answers there.
 
After eliminating 29 webs on the way out, I felt there couldn’t be any webs we’d missed as we headed back, but I was wrong. Somehow you can walk down a wooded path and miss a few, because a couple of times on the way back, I got tattooed with the sticky stuff again.
 
Thought it’s not a big thing, I did joke with my wife, “Isn’t it wonderful the things we do for our spouses,” as I cleared the way. She was dutifully appreciative for the effort I put into the task at hand.
 
It’s the little things that keep marriages fun and funny. She laughed. We both recognized the humor of the situation – a shared story.
 
For those of you with dogs, keep walking them. Keep exploring. And may you have a guide taller than yourself to serve as the lead on your hike to hack through the cobwebs waiting you on fine mornings.

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