June 3, 2039 – Boston, MA – The NBA Finals opened tonight with an historical first: Three former players – LeBron James, Kevin Durant and James Harden – served as the officials. All three players, after they retired from their storied careers, decided they wanted a new, more difficult challenge and decided to take up officiating basketball. Despite their skills with the ball, it took them each over 13 years of tremendous effort, training and personal/video feedback to make it back to the NBA championship.
“It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” James said when he found out he would be the referee (the lead official) for game one of the finals.
“I always wanted to do something more for the game of basketball after I retired,” Durant said, “and I’ve dedicated myself to this awesome endeavor for 13 years now. It’s a tremendous feeling.”
Harden had the toughest time being recognized for his officiating talent, languishing on the G League roster for years before finally realizing he needed to shave his signature beard to advance. “Man, the sky was the limit after that,” Harden smiled and said in a pumped up voice.
The first game between the Celtics and London Bridgers (who joined the league in 2027 along with the Berlin Beermeisters) was tight throughout. “I can’t believe how big, fast and strong these guys are,” James commented afterwards. “I can’t keep up with them.”
Jeff Van Gundy, commenting for IESPN (International ESPN) from the sidelines in his fully operational electronic wheelchair with voice activated commands, weighed in regularly on the officials. “That’s not a foul,” he screamed in his crotchety old voice in the first three seconds after DeShawn Decampo went up for a four-pointer and got hammered across the arm. “I can’t believe they called that,” he yelled, despite the bone piercing the elbow and the puddle of blood on the court. Emergency personnel immediately came onto the court to whip Decampo to the hospital, where officials expected the newest instant stem cell injection coupled with pinpoint laser therapy will prep to play for game four. Stay tuned.
The game stayed close throughout the first half. In the first five seconds of the second half, Van Gundy again weighed in: “The refs clearly aren’t blowing their whistle in the second half. That was a foul. And so was that,” he remarked as action zipped by on the court too fast for him to register.
Sweating in the locker room afterwards, the three officials, reunited from their days playing in the NBA, had this to say: “I challenge anyone to come out and officiate basketball. It’s next to impossible to see all the activity and you have to be razor focused at all times and make instantaneous decisions correctly over 95 percent of the time. Shoot, when I shot 75 percent on my free throws, I was doing great,” James exclaimed.
Durant agreed, “It’s was WAY easier for me to hit my jumper anywhere I was on the court because I was so much taller than anyone who guarded me and I had long arms. I wish I could go back to 2018 tell myself to quit whining and just play, now that I know how hard it is to referee in the NBA and make the finals.”
Harden, the most stoic of the three, observed, “I wish I’d shaved my beard earlier. Man I love refereeing.”
“It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” James said when he found out he would be the referee (the lead official) for game one of the finals.
“I always wanted to do something more for the game of basketball after I retired,” Durant said, “and I’ve dedicated myself to this awesome endeavor for 13 years now. It’s a tremendous feeling.”
Harden had the toughest time being recognized for his officiating talent, languishing on the G League roster for years before finally realizing he needed to shave his signature beard to advance. “Man, the sky was the limit after that,” Harden smiled and said in a pumped up voice.
The first game between the Celtics and London Bridgers (who joined the league in 2027 along with the Berlin Beermeisters) was tight throughout. “I can’t believe how big, fast and strong these guys are,” James commented afterwards. “I can’t keep up with them.”
Jeff Van Gundy, commenting for IESPN (International ESPN) from the sidelines in his fully operational electronic wheelchair with voice activated commands, weighed in regularly on the officials. “That’s not a foul,” he screamed in his crotchety old voice in the first three seconds after DeShawn Decampo went up for a four-pointer and got hammered across the arm. “I can’t believe they called that,” he yelled, despite the bone piercing the elbow and the puddle of blood on the court. Emergency personnel immediately came onto the court to whip Decampo to the hospital, where officials expected the newest instant stem cell injection coupled with pinpoint laser therapy will prep to play for game four. Stay tuned.
The game stayed close throughout the first half. In the first five seconds of the second half, Van Gundy again weighed in: “The refs clearly aren’t blowing their whistle in the second half. That was a foul. And so was that,” he remarked as action zipped by on the court too fast for him to register.
Sweating in the locker room afterwards, the three officials, reunited from their days playing in the NBA, had this to say: “I challenge anyone to come out and officiate basketball. It’s next to impossible to see all the activity and you have to be razor focused at all times and make instantaneous decisions correctly over 95 percent of the time. Shoot, when I shot 75 percent on my free throws, I was doing great,” James exclaimed.
Durant agreed, “It’s was WAY easier for me to hit my jumper anywhere I was on the court because I was so much taller than anyone who guarded me and I had long arms. I wish I could go back to 2018 tell myself to quit whining and just play, now that I know how hard it is to referee in the NBA and make the finals.”
Harden, the most stoic of the three, observed, “I wish I’d shaved my beard earlier. Man I love refereeing.”