Just Write Communications
  • Home
  • Contact Us
  • News
  • Clients
  • Testimonials
  • Writing Tips
  • Weekly Chuckle
  • Meals We Steal
  • Bad Golf

Mutual Support

5/31/2020

0 Comments

 
Picture
​Marriage is a mutual support network. As you take your vows, words reinforcing that come your way: “Love and cherish” “Through sickness and health.”
 
You kinda understand the point at the time, but not really. You haven’t lived it yet.
 
So, yes, you back your spouse up over the years. You do your best to care for the other person and split duties as best you can, but that still doesn’t drive the lesson fully home.
 
As our three kids left home for college and jobs, my wife and I rediscovered many things about “our” relationship, most of them good. Raising kids frequently puts the focus on their lives and making sure you prepare them as best you can to be productive human beings in this wild and crazy world we inhabit. Even with great parenting, that’s probably not completely possible.
 
One of the things that becomes more apparent to us at this stage of life is the mutual support of each other. On simple days, that’s just a recognition of our division of duties around the house or in the yard. On more complex days, that delves into our emotional and psychological well-being and offering an ear to the other, voicing perspective. Sometimes it just means being there for the other person. That provides comfort and companionship.
 
The genesis for this column, amusingly enough, came from a ritual we’ve developed fairly recently. It isn’t something that occurs every day. But it does encompass recognition we both have of each other where the other person needs help and we provide it. Mutual support.
 
Debbie is athletic. She works out regularly. She spends a lot of time doing much of our yard work, planting, moving, lifting, digging, cutting, trimming, using power tools. As you might imagine, she is often extremely sore because those are muscles we don’t always use and when we do, we aggravate them.
 
She requires assistance afterwards. I provide that. I Kinesio tape the painful parts of her body. It’s the least I can do. It makes me feel productive and useful knowing I’ve helped her out, and the tape does provide extra support to heal her aches and pains.
 
In return, she clips away at skin between toes on my right foot where I had a painful blister and maddening soreness for months. Bit by bit, every five or six days, she gets out the clippers and digs out the pieces of skin contributing to the pain. It gets better every day as the sore spot shrinks under her expert medical technique.
 
You may find those two examples amusing. You may have similar ones in your own marriage, like cutting their hair during the coronavirus, even if it’s a bad haircut. Or you may find yourself playing amateur psychologist during this time of isolation to give your partner just the little bit of sanity that prevents them raging uncontrollably (a severe concern these days).
 
Regardless, over the years we develop mutual support probably never envisioned during those initial marital vows. We learn mutual support. We learn to give and do it in new ways over and over.
 
The marriage grows. Our self-awareness increases. When done well, we become better individuals and as a collective unit.

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013

    Categories

    All

Proudly powered by Weebly