Saturday Night Live (SNL) had its series opener this past Saturday evening, and as expected, there was a skit of the debate between President Trump and former Vice President Biden. Earlier in the week, I speculated with some friends on how the writers would play the debate. There were so many ways to poke fun at it.
We came up with a different ploy than the SNL writers. We decided on a love fest approach.
Flip around the arguing, the anger, the talking over the opponent, the interruptions. Instead, show humor from civility. Showing manners. Politeness.
“Why Joey, you look marvelous in your suit tonight. The tie is becoming of you,” Trump would lead off.
“That’s so kind of you, Donnie. I’ve always appreciated your taste in colors and your shirt brings out the smoothness of your tan,” Biden replies.
Chris Wallace’s eyes widen at this point. “Are you gentlemen going to address the issues or stick with the compliments?”
“Oh, Chris, that’s such an appropriate question,” Trump continues. “You are the best moderator ever for a Presidential debate. I can’t tell you how much it pleases me that you were selected. What question would you like me to answer?”
“How about your supreme court nominee? Do you think you should have waited?”
“I like Joey’s idea about postponing the nomination. It has a lot of merit and I will consider it after consulting with my staff to make the best decision for the country. Sometimes, given Joey’s phenomenal positions and insights, I don’t know why I even bother to run for reelection. Maybe we should just give him the election.”
“Shucks, Donnie, don’t say that. Give yourself some credit for the state of the country. You don’t get enough accolades for what you’ve accomplished and you should really give yourself a big pat on the back,” Biden says in a soft tone, before putting on his mask, walking across the debate stage and giving Trump a several solid thankful pats on the back with his hand.
“Thank you, Joey,” Trump responds, eyes glistening. “That means a lot to me, coming from you and what you’ve accomplished to help make this country great. I could have used you as a role model for our slogan in 2016 given your many years of service to our country.”
“Don’t mention it, Donnie. I love that you bring an outside perspective to running the country and have shaken things up. We needed that.”
“Are you both going to keep listening to each other and letting your opponent complete his sentences? I can’t !@#$%^&*())(*&^%$#@)_+)(*&^%$ believe it,” Wallace exclaims, clearly flustered and getting intensely agitated. “This is supposed to be a debate, not a conversation with give and take. Let’s see some blustering and edginess.”
“I couldn’t disagree with you more,” Trump responds. “Our citizens have had enough yelling and finger pointing, particularly on social media. They want us to listen and think issues through before responding.”
“I’m sorry. Are you done, Donnie? I don’t want to interrupt,” Biden replies.
“Certainly, Joey, you go ahead. I want to hear what you have to say before I make my closing remarks.”
Flabbergasted, Wallace takes his glasses and flings them at the candidates. “What the hell is wrong with both of you guys? This isn’t Presidential. You’re acting like you’re eating breakfast together at your Rotary Club meeting.”
The skit, of course, didn’t happen. If it had, maybe it would start a national discussion about divisiveness.
We came up with a different ploy than the SNL writers. We decided on a love fest approach.
Flip around the arguing, the anger, the talking over the opponent, the interruptions. Instead, show humor from civility. Showing manners. Politeness.
“Why Joey, you look marvelous in your suit tonight. The tie is becoming of you,” Trump would lead off.
“That’s so kind of you, Donnie. I’ve always appreciated your taste in colors and your shirt brings out the smoothness of your tan,” Biden replies.
Chris Wallace’s eyes widen at this point. “Are you gentlemen going to address the issues or stick with the compliments?”
“Oh, Chris, that’s such an appropriate question,” Trump continues. “You are the best moderator ever for a Presidential debate. I can’t tell you how much it pleases me that you were selected. What question would you like me to answer?”
“How about your supreme court nominee? Do you think you should have waited?”
“I like Joey’s idea about postponing the nomination. It has a lot of merit and I will consider it after consulting with my staff to make the best decision for the country. Sometimes, given Joey’s phenomenal positions and insights, I don’t know why I even bother to run for reelection. Maybe we should just give him the election.”
“Shucks, Donnie, don’t say that. Give yourself some credit for the state of the country. You don’t get enough accolades for what you’ve accomplished and you should really give yourself a big pat on the back,” Biden says in a soft tone, before putting on his mask, walking across the debate stage and giving Trump a several solid thankful pats on the back with his hand.
“Thank you, Joey,” Trump responds, eyes glistening. “That means a lot to me, coming from you and what you’ve accomplished to help make this country great. I could have used you as a role model for our slogan in 2016 given your many years of service to our country.”
“Don’t mention it, Donnie. I love that you bring an outside perspective to running the country and have shaken things up. We needed that.”
“Are you both going to keep listening to each other and letting your opponent complete his sentences? I can’t !@#$%^&*())(*&^%$#@)_+)(*&^%$ believe it,” Wallace exclaims, clearly flustered and getting intensely agitated. “This is supposed to be a debate, not a conversation with give and take. Let’s see some blustering and edginess.”
“I couldn’t disagree with you more,” Trump responds. “Our citizens have had enough yelling and finger pointing, particularly on social media. They want us to listen and think issues through before responding.”
“I’m sorry. Are you done, Donnie? I don’t want to interrupt,” Biden replies.
“Certainly, Joey, you go ahead. I want to hear what you have to say before I make my closing remarks.”
Flabbergasted, Wallace takes his glasses and flings them at the candidates. “What the hell is wrong with both of you guys? This isn’t Presidential. You’re acting like you’re eating breakfast together at your Rotary Club meeting.”
The skit, of course, didn’t happen. If it had, maybe it would start a national discussion about divisiveness.