Several months back I pondered an idea, and thought to myself, “That will not turn out the way you think it will.” That made me consider the concept of how we project what will occur in our lives. We see a certain path and figure that will make it so.
When I put together these columns, I often get a seed and plant it, followed by watering. It germinates, grows roots. I wrote that thought down – “NOTHING ever turns out the way you want it to or hope it should.” It has now simmered for many weeks, been reinforced by other events that make it more relevant.
The reality we all face vs. our projection of how we think something will turn out probably causes each of us the most repeated cognitive dissonance because of how pervasive this syndrome is. Think first how difficult it is not to project into the future. Just take each day as it comes. Don’t hope for an outcome. Don’t plan for contingencies. Accept whatever comes your way and respond accordingly.
That’s difficult, probably impossible for a human to do. Our brains don’t function that way. Let’s take a common example – finding and starting a job.
When you interview for a new position, you are typically given a list of tasks that will be involved for you to do on a regular basis. That list is not exhaustive. You know there will be many other things you must do if you accept the position. You also will come to know that items you are told will be part of the job actually aren’t.
The point of this is you expect to do certain things and not other stuff. The reality once you take the job is that you’ll do things you weren’t told about, and certain things you were told you’d be doing won’t be part of your daily routine. It doesn’t turn out the way you thought it would.
Another example could be a sports team you play for. You know your teammates and how the season turned out the previous year. Based on the competition and your preparation, you think the upcoming season will turn out a certain way.
Then, someone gets hurt. Another teammate loses his job and has to move to another state to stay employed. Three people take vacations at the same time and you’re short-handed during those weeks and each game you get hammered (games you expected to win).
The season turns out not at all what you expected. You hoped for a solid third place finish, perhaps even second with some luck. Instead, you’re just a step away from landing in the cellar. The season didn’t turn out the way you expected.
The weather person predicts thunderstorms for tomorrow at a specific time. You know the odds of this happening are slim, yet you let that affect whether you’re going for a bike ride. The day doesn’t turn out the way you thought it would.
This occurs in almost all facets of life. You start a relationship, and you believe things will work a certain way. Over time, there are so many unexpected variables that you realize it’s best to lower your expectations and raise your acceptance level.
When I put together these columns, I often get a seed and plant it, followed by watering. It germinates, grows roots. I wrote that thought down – “NOTHING ever turns out the way you want it to or hope it should.” It has now simmered for many weeks, been reinforced by other events that make it more relevant.
The reality we all face vs. our projection of how we think something will turn out probably causes each of us the most repeated cognitive dissonance because of how pervasive this syndrome is. Think first how difficult it is not to project into the future. Just take each day as it comes. Don’t hope for an outcome. Don’t plan for contingencies. Accept whatever comes your way and respond accordingly.
That’s difficult, probably impossible for a human to do. Our brains don’t function that way. Let’s take a common example – finding and starting a job.
When you interview for a new position, you are typically given a list of tasks that will be involved for you to do on a regular basis. That list is not exhaustive. You know there will be many other things you must do if you accept the position. You also will come to know that items you are told will be part of the job actually aren’t.
The point of this is you expect to do certain things and not other stuff. The reality once you take the job is that you’ll do things you weren’t told about, and certain things you were told you’d be doing won’t be part of your daily routine. It doesn’t turn out the way you thought it would.
Another example could be a sports team you play for. You know your teammates and how the season turned out the previous year. Based on the competition and your preparation, you think the upcoming season will turn out a certain way.
Then, someone gets hurt. Another teammate loses his job and has to move to another state to stay employed. Three people take vacations at the same time and you’re short-handed during those weeks and each game you get hammered (games you expected to win).
The season turns out not at all what you expected. You hoped for a solid third place finish, perhaps even second with some luck. Instead, you’re just a step away from landing in the cellar. The season didn’t turn out the way you expected.
The weather person predicts thunderstorms for tomorrow at a specific time. You know the odds of this happening are slim, yet you let that affect whether you’re going for a bike ride. The day doesn’t turn out the way you thought it would.
This occurs in almost all facets of life. You start a relationship, and you believe things will work a certain way. Over time, there are so many unexpected variables that you realize it’s best to lower your expectations and raise your acceptance level.