In several of my jobs, I’ve created a grease board where I would pose philosophical/ethical/moral questions and post them in my cube farm to see what coworkers would comment. Typically, the question sparked a lively discussion.
In most cases, there was/is an element of situational ethics – “it depends.” It depends on certain circumstances regarding your decision.
This question on body odor came to me instantaneously one morning while changing after working out because the guy next to me, who I know enough to say “hi” to, set his gym bag down next to me, and opened it, letting a rank, stale odor out that staggered me. It literally repelled me backwards. I looked at him and wondered how he could live with the smell.
Was he used to it? Did he not care about odors in general, or how his clothes could be considered lethal weapons?
I guess he didn’t know or care since the aroma saturating the room was enough to activate your gag reflex. He was clueless.
Years ago, I lived in a group home in DC and we were interviewing candidates to fill a room vacancy and help with the rent bill. We had a great candidate, one we all liked. All three of my roommates were women.
When the guy interviewed, I noticed he had BO. Not bad, I thought, but definitely noticeable. Since we all liked him, I thought we all would agree to have him join us in the house. That was not the case. All three of my roommates mentioned the body odor issue and said they would not live with someone like that.
I called the guy and let him know we did not select him. He asked why, because he felt we were all a good fit together. I asked, “Do you honestly want to know. He said “yes.” I told him, with discretion, “Your body odor was noticeable.”
He was set back by this, “No one ever told me that before.” I told him I was sorry, but we were going to keep looking for someone else. He thanked me for my honesty.
And, that’s the dilemma. Do you NOT tell someone so they go around offending others with their stink? Or do you step up and let the individual know they have a stinky problem and they get the opportunity to fix it?
To a certain extent, I think it depends on how well you know the person, do you REALLY care about informing that individual, and how will your decision affect others. In other words, does your decision matter in the grand scheme of the world?
You have no obligation to tell the person. But, if you are going to regularly have a putrid individual next to you at work, play or home, you have a serious decision to make. If that guy in the locker room, for example, was someone I saw every day and his clothes were able to stand up on their own, I’d probably be more inclined to say something.
In this case, after discussing with others, I remained quiet. I didn’t care enough, and advice from others is that they wouldn’t say anything.
I haven’t seen him since. Maybe my clothes stink and he moved to the back of the locker room.