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Relearning

2/19/2022

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​Relearning as a concept isn’t necessarily new. There’s enough literature available on continuing to grow your skills or your emotional intelligence or your ability to adapt to changing circumstances. Sometimes though a new situation arises that brings it home to you that is more along the lines of “relearning” something that you’d forgotten, or possibly hadn’t paid much attention to.
 
Recently, I was out on the golf course with two grade school buddies. We hadn’t seen each other in about 10 years. We’re clearly in a stage of life where our bodies don’t obey the commands they did 15 or 20 years ago.
 
We played three consecutive days. That was overdoing it. We complained about our backs, knees and other joints being stiff and sore. We stretched, used the Theragun to pound knotted muscles, and headed back to the next course to attempt to dominate the white dimpled ball.
 
The relearning curve golf teaches us over and over is simple: life is not easy. Golf is not easy.
 
You get screwed by golf shots when you don’t deserve it. You get lucky when you shouldn’t. That often mirrors what happens in our personal day-to-day existence.
 
You also relearn from golf the lesson that no matter how much prep time you take to get better and master the necessary skills to shoot a good score, that may not be enough. You work and work, repeat your swing, take lessons, listen to experts, adapt some nuance to how you address the ball, and you get back on the course and still don’t hit it the way you want or expect.
 
It’s a hard sport. You relearn your failures.
 
In our world today, I think the discipline of hard work, putting in the hours to get better, relearning lessons to improve a skill are often lost. It’s not a new complaint – that many seek instant gratification rather than putting in the grind time over an extended period to reach a significant goal.
 
But, it does seem with the increasing saturation of success models combined with social media and its constant hammering away at our psyches that we can assume reaching a tough goal is way easier than it actually is. That leads to frustration. “Why didn’t I get there sooner? They said I could be anything if I wanted to.”
 
It just ain’t so. Most people can’t “just be anything.” Yes, we can and should aspire to do important and constructive things in our lives, things that lead us to fulfillment and make societies more productive and unified. None of that happens quickly.
 
A good golf game comes about after relearning many lessons, and reapplying them to yourself. With time, commitment and effort, you see progress. You score goes down. You grow in confidence.
 
You can’t go out and play a few days after not picking up a club for three months and hope to shoot like the pros. Though there are some golfers with natural swings and instincts who can shame many of us duffers in that way. They are the exception.

The majority rule is you have to get down in the trenches and dig away. Put in the work. Shovel the dirt. You’ll make progress. You’ll achieve satisfaction. Importantly, that is often enough.

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