For 10 years, we were in a log cabin. Friends and professional colleagues would call. We often couldn’t hear our phones ring, or if we did, the connection quickly severed. We chalked this up to poor receptivity, living down a slight grade from the street. Really, that should have been no excuse for us to get a consistent signal, but we used it. “Sorry we got cut off, let me go outside and call you back.”
The neighbors must have thought it strange, almost like a rock concert encore, as we trudged up our driveway, holding our phones over our heads, hoping to increase the number of bars to ensure it was worth calling back on a secure line. Typically, even then reception was spotty.
You could get on the line with the other person, and suddenly you’d talk into a dead phone. You might jabber away, then realize no one was listening.
Given that was two years ago, you’d think that more cell towers and better wireless coverage would improve the situation as we moved down the block to a smaller home. The new place is on slightly higher ground, and there are no big logs in the walls to potentially block signals.
Now our phones ring in the house. We pick up and someone is on the other end. But, our voices are garbled. Give me a dollar for every time I’ve told the other person that I’d call back on the home line (after they’ve asked repeatedly for me to restate something that I’ve already related to them in a VERY LOUD voice), and I’d be retired.
There’s an old Abbot and Costello routine, “Who’s On First?,” where the two comedians play around with not hearing each other as they respond to each while describing base runners in a baseball game. It’s a classic play on words that uses miscommunication for humor.
That was my dad and me this past week. We coordinated travel information for a family funeral over my smart phone, and his weakened state of hearing combined with my scrambled voice led to multiple, “Did you get that? WHAT?!??!? Say that again! Speak slower so I can write that down.” And so on.
He didn’t hear me, and I think I spent more time repeating myself than in initial conversation. Hopefully we got it finally right, but we won’t know for sure until we spy each other at the airport. Poor connectivity makes for exciting times.
The promises made by wireless carriers would make us think we’ll live in a perfect world of voice clarity in less than five years. Don’t believe it.
Just drive through the high hills of Pennsylvania or Maine and see how long your signal lasts. Don’t get on that business conference call in your car. Your coworkers will curse at you as you jump on and off, playing catch-up on the conversation.
Log cabins, hills and high winds all mess with your signal. None of those problems go away tomorrow. Higher and more cell towers won’t eliminate the problems. They’ll improve the situation, but hardwire will remain more reliable.
Hence, we keep our home line. Speaking in situations that require accurate communication, it remains by far the best choice. Go fully wireless at your peril.
Now if I could just get my dad to dial me at home, we’d be all set. “Hey, ABBOTT!!!! Who’s on first?”