Achieving a new/changed perspective on something that troubles you can be extremely difficult. In struggling with an issue, the patterns we used in the past tend to come into play. We keep hammering the nail or turning the screw the same way we always do, and getting the same result.
I was struck by this recently in a conversation with a long-time friend who I used to play basketball and softball with. As University of Illinois graduates, we were discussing the recent appearance of the men’s basketball team in the Elite 8 of the NCAA tournament. We had some thoughts on how we would have approached the game that differed from the coach.
We are not experts. Just a couple of guys looking from the outside-in. Sometimes that can be quite useful.
We will never know if the changes the two of us agreed would have helped the Illinois basketball team, because you can’t go back and relive life. But, we did wonder why other choices weren’t explored in their elimination gave vs. Connecticut in which the team got annihilated.
A coach can’t just walk away from a game. In other life/work situations though, when your mental facilities have been engaged intensely over a period of time, getting up and walking away can do wonders. It changes the scenery if nothing else.
More importantly, it changes your mindset and how you approach things. A good example for me are the “Connections” and “Wordle” games you can download on your phone. Both put up a daily puzzle. In Connections, you are given 16 words to associate in groups of four based on a commonality between the words. In Wordle, you try to find a five-letter word in six tries by choosing words and then responding to the program based on whether you selected and/or placed letters in the correct order.
In both, you build as you go along. One step leads to the next. You also can get 100 percent stumped. This happens to me more regularly with Connections, but also occasionally occurs with Wordle.
What do I do? I get up from the breakfast table and pour a cup of coffee. I may leave my phone at the table and get a bit of work done, then come back to my phone an hour or two later and look at what I’d accomplished and how I’d approached the solution.
Invariably (but not always), when I return to the puzzle, I look at it differently and very frequently solve the equation. It’s not perfect, but it works so effectively that I choose to take that step more often and earlier in the game process than I did when I first started playing the games.
Walking away eases frustration. You also let go mentally. There is much to be said for letting your mind wander and free-associate. Something opens up during that time, and it allows you to be more positive and cleared up mentally when you return.
You may already use this approach. I salute you if you do. If not, give it a shot next time you punish yourself by sticking with the tried and true. See how it goes.